Taste of Poison Paradise
by EnchantedToReadYou
Summary: Kurt & Blaine are in a relationship. But he needs to hide the fact that he is a Sub that likes to be dominated. Blaine cant provide him with that, is too soft and loveydovey. So one night Kurt visits a BDSM club and wants a Dom to whip and dominate him, without sex. Sebastian agrees but after the night he sends Kurt sms with orders. Kurt cant resist and gives in, cheating on Blaine
1. I need a hit, baby give me it

**A/N: Kinda written for the Glee-kink-meme..but since the idea was mine and I had the urge to write it myself...it´s kinda just a story haha :D I just hope someone else fills it though, because that would be hotter than reading my own stuff hahaha. :D**

**Please no 3 season spoilers. I haven´t watched it through yet, just seen some sebastian scenes on youtube .D**

* * *

_There's no escape_  
_I can't wait, I need a hit_  
_Baby, give me it_  
_You're dangerous, I'm lovin' it_

_I´m addicted to you, don´t you know that you´re toxic?_

Kurt smiled at receiving his favorite chocolates. Sure, he knew how unhealthy it would be to eat them, but he would do it to make Blaine happy. Said Blaine stood in front of him, eyes sparkling in anticipation.

"Thank you. I haven´t had those in month." Kurt said and leaned down to kiss his boyfriend of three years. Not that he was much shorter, but short enough that Kurt needed to look down to have their eyes meet, as well as their lips. The kiss was sweet, without tongue and really slow. He liked those kisses, liked romantic moments like picnic at home, the room only lit by candlelight. Still, especially at those kisses, he felt this need again. Need to be dominated, to have Blaine´s hands grip forcefully until his pale skin bruised, to shove his tongue in his mouth.

But none of these things happened and the kiss ended with soft touches down his back. As always, he tried not to be disappointed in Blaine. After three years in the relationship, his sub-urge that had once been unsatifyable, was pressed down in a secret cabin in his body, to never be let out again. Because Blaine was who he wanted to grow old with. People said that love is the most intense in the beginning of a relationship, but Kurt felt his love grow more and more over the years.

"How about you sing while I cook?" Blaine offered.

"Sounds as if there´s a hook Blaine. What sport is it this time you want to torture me with?"

Blaine laughed and kissed Kurt again. After spending so much time together, they knew the other almost too well.

"Basketball, Knicks vs. Celtics. Pretty please? I will make your favorite salad in return." Kurt sighed hearing the pleas, imagining them to be commands instead. That way, he would want to obey. He cursed silently at himself for bringing that matter up again and Blaine eyed him curiously. He probably assumed that Kurt hated the idea of watching sports.

"Okay, but only because I can watch gigantic men in shorts." He said and received another soft kiss. He loved Blaine, he could feel it like fresh air in his lungs.

That night Kurt ate his salad while pretending to watch the game. He and Blaine cuddled on the couch. Cuddles became heated groping and they ended up having sex on the couch.

Kurt felt Blaine penetrate him slowly, carefully, as if Kurt could break any moment. He even waited until Kurt's body seemed to adjust to the penis inside of him, before he started to move. Soft hands caressed his body and Kurt whimpered as fingers brushed his nipples. He wanted them to be squeezed so hard, that he would lose his mind pleading for it to stop. Blaine only kneaded them with care, causing very low pants.

The sex was slow, not even nearly fast enough to hurt or be forceful. But Kurt could handle that, he tried to convince himself. After asking Blaine to go faster, he actually did. Again not hard enough, the hands on his hips were not digging in his flesh. No orders were given to hold it in, so Kurt came after Blaine did inside him. After the sex, Blaine and he spooned on the living room floor and he felt his partner drift off in exhaustion. Kurt was not remotely at his limits.

* * *

Kurt lay awake, staring at the ceiling. This night, Blaine would be sleeping at Rosys place, because the both of them would need to get up really early to practice for their ballad at a Broadway show. Even though they had had sex yesterday, Kurt yearned for someone to hold him tonight. Irritated about his lack of sleep, he got up and switched on the light. Maybe writing another song would tire him, he thought and grabbed his laptop.

After minutes of staring at an empty word document, he sighed in defeat. In his state of mind, no lyrics could be produced. When he opened his internet server, he intended to search for new artists in YouTube. Instead he gave in to the urge to click on the file he had secured with a password. A password not even Blaine knew. He would be the last one Kurt would tell it to. Fast, as if someone could see otherwise, he typed in ´ordermearound´ and the file opened and revealed links. Small icons of bondaged men or the words BDSM made his search easier.

Unwillingly he opened a page. It was designed in black with blood red cuffs, ropes and spreader-bars in the background and a white field with the word "location" in it. Looking at the page, Kurt could feel heat climb into his cheeks. It had been so long. If he would type in his location, the search-machine would find the nearest clubs for subs like him. Kurt hesitated. He didn´t want to cheat on Blaine. Blaine was the best thing in his life, his anchor. Otherwise, just looking for a club would do no one any harm, right? Quickly he typed in his ZIP-code and immediately 5 clubs were presented to him. He read the recommendations.

One club especially turned him on, the floors designed in tasteful way, Kurt preferred. The ´Dragons core´ was a place, the old Kurt would have loved to see for himself. The Kurt he was now tried to resist the urge to pull out the clothes, he had told Blaine, were for a costume. His conscience told him to stay home, to just watch some BDSM-gay porn to be satisfied. He couldn´t cheat on Blaine. He wouldn´t. Not when he would tell the dom, that he just wanted to be ordered around and strapped down to be whipped? Without any sexual contact, it would not be cheating. He wasn´t sure if a Dom would be content with just that, but Kurt needed to try. Pulling on a tight leather-shorts, that he decorated with a large-leather claret-red belt and fitting red very tight shirt and leather boots, le left their apartment. He hoped the outfit was sexy enough to attract men, but would not scream ´sub´ to people who weren´t into the scene. Either way, he called for a taxi to pick him up and stated the location, that was near the club.

Cold air bit at the pale skin as he left the cab and hurried to the address he had found out in the internet. It took him some time to realize that he would need to take the stairs, since the club was in the underground. Anticipation kept his body warm in the unforgiving autumn night. One pale hand was on the handle of the door. For a split second, Kurt thought of Blaines face, the disappointment he really hated to see in his partners face, if he knew what Kurt was about to do. He contemplated going home, as the metal door was opened and two men passed him. One of them was leashed and collared. The leash was very short, but the boy walked near enough to not let it hurt him. That was all it took to remind him why he was here.

Entering the club, two bouncers eyed him warily before letting him pass through another door. Before the door was opened, one of the bulky men spoke.

"New face, huh? Also new to the scene ladyface?"

"No, back again, I would say." Kurt answered, keeping his face locked with the red carpeted floor. It came back to him naturally, as if he just left for a few days instead of years.

"What they say is true, you know! You can never escape your past. Especially not a sub-core." A rough hand caressed his face, in what seemed to be a loving gesture. But Kurt could feel the demanding note to it.

"Leave him alone. He is for the costumers to enjoy, not for you." The other bouncer said and soon the hand left his face.

"Unfortunately." Bouncer A laughed and opened the door then, revealing the club Kurt had already seen parts of in pictures.

Entering , he looked around. The dark wooden floor, the grey and red walls, the tasteful designer tables and chairs, the lit stage and the bar, everything was as wonderful as it had seemed in the photographs. He almost jumped in delight. He had really missed being at places like this, where the music was loud enough to cover the murmurs, but not loud enough to have to over scream it. Where one still could hear the whip on the flesh of the sub, who was being punished on stage. Kurt decided to sit down on one of the chairs in front of the stage and to watch some live action.

He boy being whipped left out a grunt as the whip collided with his back. One could only assume him to be gagged. The dom looked very experienced, only hitting hard enough to leave red marks, not draw blood as Kurt knew whips could very well do. Kurt dick was pressing painfully against his leather-pants, he wore no underwear to sooth it. The longing to jerk himself off was overwhelming and he almost did so, before reminding himself where he was. Sure he was an unclaimed sub, at least when speaking about a dom, but pleasuring himself would be very inappropriate.

He clutched at the chair under his ass to prevent himself from jerking off, as he watched the show. Soon pleas were heard, when the sub was ungagged and the master, as the sslave stated, decided to give his slave what he wanted. His cock up his ass. At this point Kurt could feel precum drip down his dick and pool at the bottom of his pants.

"Enjoying the show very much I see." Someone said next to him. Looking over he instantly realized that it was dom he was facing. The calm but strong demeanor was not something any sub could misinterpret. In a tiny second he could see a beautiful face, before he lowered his eyes to his ribcage, clad in a black muscle-shirt.

Not knowing if the dom wanted an answer, he chose to remain quiet.

"I´ve never seen you here, because I would remember you if I did. You are uncollared I see and alone. Am I right to assume you are untaken?"

Kurt knew that he should answer this question, but he didn´t know how. Untaken, well as a sub he wasn´t, as a boyfriend he were. Cool fingers gripped at chin and lifted it until Kurt could look the dom in his face.

"Answer me boy!" It was a small order, said without rush or high demand, but still an order that he wanted to obey. And with any second he took to answer, the grip on his chin got harder.

"I´m in a vanilla relationship. But as a sub, I am untaken…sir."

His opposite smiled at the last word and loosened his grip until it was feather light.

"So what are you here for, if waits at home for you to make fluffy sex with?" The dom asked, a sinister edge to his voice. Kurt felt offended at someone making fun of Blaine, but the truth of the words hit him hard. He knew them to be true, while hearing another one say them made it more realistic. More obvious that he needed someone to distract him from the normal sex.

"I´m looking for someone who would order me around, without sexual intercourse. Someone tying me down and whipping me, sir."

"Hmm. I usually would never agree to that, but you really drive me into dom-modus. What about we get a room and I will do something alond the line?"

His voice was like velvet, the breath on his neck warm and coaxing. So trapped in his overtaking submission Kurt only nodded wildly, biting down on his lips to prevent from pleading like crazy.

The dom took his hand and let Kurt and him through a door next to the bar. Behind that Kurt could see a narrow hall, lined with black doors and a counter with a blond guy sitting behind it.

"Is room 4 free for usage?" His dom asked. The thump-nail on his wrist began to drag down on his skin, leaving hot trails.

"It is. You two got one hour."

Kurts dom nodded and led them to the door with a golden 4 on it. When opened, it revealed a dark room, with only very dim light. In the right hand upper corner stood a king size bed with cuffs bolted to the bedpost. Next to it stood a drawer with various toys on top of it. And the last thing was a bench, which also hoops on which someone could be bolted down to.

A creak indicated the door was closed and they were alone. Kurt could feel him at his back, before the dom circled him and stood in front of him, blocking his view.

"First of all, let´s lay down some rules to assure you. My name is Sebastian, but like you did before, you will only address me as sir. I will not force you to sex or to blow me, but other than that you will obey my commands. I will do along what you said you wanted, but you will have no more say in anything. What´s your name and safeword?" Sebastian said and relief washed over him. The guidelines helped him to relax and the immediate asking of his safeword, made him trust the dom to regard his boundaries.

"My name is Kurt and my safeword will be Anderson."

Kurt hadn´t thought very long about his safeword. Blaine could slip easily off his tongue, his family name probably wouldn´t. And nothing else let him feel safer than this word, even if it reminded him of what he was about to do.

"Very well boy. On your knees and close your eyes." This time, it really did sound like an order and he was on his knees in mere seconds. The grey carpet burned on his knees as they rubbed over it at the fast movement. But he didn´t let it show. His eyes were closed tightly, as he used reassuring thoughts that he would be safe.

He could hear drawers opening and closing, rumbling and steps drawing nearer.

"You are not new to this I assume?"  
"Yes, Sir. I have been a sub since I was 18." And stopped when I was 22 because of Blaine, he added in his thoughts.

Suddenly he could feel hands on his belt, ripping it open and tugging in his pants in the process. Kurts heart began to race and he breathed in louder and faster. It had been so long that someone did what they wanted with him. Without asking, just doing it, using Kurt for their pleasure only, not the other way around.

Kurts hands, that hung loosely on his sides, were gripped and bound by professional hands. He could only assume it was the soft leather of his belt now restricting his movement.

"Jerk off, but don´t you dare come without permission boy."

With hitched breath and his eyes still closed, Kurt fumbled with the button of his pants. A hard task, because not only were they very tight, but with bound hands he was only able to use his pinky fingers.

After a while, his hands were slapped away violently and Sebastian opened his pants and pulled them down to his kneecaps.

From the friction alone Kurt felt his stomach clench in desperation to cum. The dominance of Sebastian had left him on the edge since the first sentence. Without further waiting, he gripped his moist penis with both hands and moved them slowly up and down. He wanted to go faster, but he knew he would cum in mere seconds like that.

"Stop hiding your beautiful voice boy. I know you are close."

Kurt hadn´t noticed he had been biting his lips to remain quiet. Many doms didn´t like his girly voice and told him to shut up. Happily, he moaned as he rubbed harder though not really wanting to do that.

"Please…I" he panted, being too long on the edge.

"No. Hands off, now."

Shaking hands followed the order reluctantly. But the last jerk had been enough and he came, screaming in a high F. Once he had been trained to keep it in longer, but after years with Blaine, he hadn´t been ordered to.

"Hm. You´re pathetic boy. Open your eyes and crawl to the bench for your punishment." Sebastian sounded disappointed, and the sub that he was, Kurt felt ashamed and hurt. He had wanted to please him, even if they weren´t deeply connected or anything. The urge to do that was just simply there. He opened his eyes, refusing to look in a disappointed face, and robbed, more than crawled over to the bench. It was high enough to make it impossible to climb from down there.

"You can stand up to get on it. Lay down on your stomach."

Kurt did what he was told and saw Sebastian follow him. The dom locked his ankles in the bolted down restraints and took of the belt. His shirt was pulled over his head in a swift movement, nails scraping the skin of his back in the process. Then Sebastian secured his wrists.

"You came without permission. No, even after being ordered explicitly to not do that. Have you gone vanilla too?" The first hit came as a surprise, as Kurt was not facing the dom. The belt landed on his lower back and left it´s hot, burning trail in the process. Kurt hissed.

"Tell me how you and your boyfriend do it!" He gulped at that, and hissed as he was hit again. To reveal something so private, should not come as easy as it just would be.

"He always prepares me extra long, asks if I am okay, showeres me with kisses and he goes slowly, sir. It ends with cuddling."

Sebastian barked in laughter, which offended Kurt, but his words of protest were drowned by the next hit. He always hit the same part of his body.

"So I assume he doesn´t know your needs? Doesn´t know how you love to submit? This is why you asked to be whipped huh? Because he is double-vanilla with rainbow sprinkles." The questions weren´t meant to be answered, Kurt assumed, again miffed at the last part.

Under the professional beats of the dom, he grew hard again. He had a masochistic streak that had been buried to long. And the belt bit so wonderful on his ass-cheeks. Soon after, he screamed in pain and pleasure, drowning in the submission completely. He swallowed any air he could receive between the moans and screams.

When sobs filled the room, Sebastian stopped. Kurt was overwhelmed with self-loathing and pain, as the pleasure had forced him to rub against the bench and cum for the second time this evening. He had disappointed his sir again. In his haze he really wanted to suck the doms cock, just to know his sir was forgiving. Well, he couldn´t as that would be cheating.

"A pain slut? You boy, are truly a rough diamond. I know you want to suck me. To open your sweet mouth and let me use it for my pleasure and make you choke on my semen."

Kurt shook his head in denial tears streaming down his face. Oh god, yes he thought.

"No? Yes, Yes you want to. And I also know that you want to be fucked and filled by me. But that is a privilege that you have not earned tonight. You even came twice, but I think you were punished enough."

Again he shook his head at the true words of Sebastian. He did want to be fucked. Fucked until he would limp. He didn´t act on that though.

Suddenly two fingers penetrated him. He could feel very little lube around them. He yelped and tried to struggle, but the other hand held him down as the finger pushed in and out in fast movements.

"You are tight, boy. Let me guess, you just do it once a week with your vanilla? God, he misses out on so much. If you would be my slave, not one day would go by without you being fucked senseless by me. Why don´t you just give in and beg me. Beg me to let you have a piece of me."

The fingers scrapped against his sweet spot and he moaned and trashed in pleasure. It had been so long that his prostate had been hit so forceful.

"A-Anderson." He gasped and the finger immediately retreated and helped him release his wrists.

"Are you okay? Was it just the fingering, or are you hurt?" Sebastian asked and Kurt knew he had assumed right. He was a good dom. Even though a cocky one, that had overstepped his boundaries.

"I´m okay otherwise. Just the fingers." Kurt stated, his breath short and still sounding like gasps. He waited for Sebastian to release his ankles, but the dom just walked over the his pants.

"What are you doing?" Kurt asked in panic, knowing the scene was over and daring to ask.

"Just searching for your mobile-phone. I can´t let you leave without you having my number." He watched the dom grab for his Iphone that he had kept in his pocket. Sebastian smirked and Kurt seethed in anger.

"´I can´t sleep, I miss you so much. It´s just one night, I know it´s stupid, but your body heat and smell is missing at her place. I know I´ll dream of you, so good night. I love you so much!´" Sebastian read, a text that Kurt hadn´t noticed he had gotten in the last minutes. He felt his heart drop at the sweet words, which sounded so mocked read by Sebastian. What had he done? Blaine missed him, while he was here with another man. Oh god, he was awful.  
"That´s triple vanilla with rainbow-sprinkles Kurt. You could do better. My sms will be a little more unromantic."

"This was a one-time thing. I don't want to have anything to do with you. And now uncuff me."He insisted.

"Very demanding for a sub, but that will change after my training." With those words he uncuffed Kurt and the sub was able to get off the bench and grab his mobile phone and his clothes. He pulled them on hastily, forgetting his belt that now lay next to the bench.

Kurt wanted to storm out, but Sebastian blocked his way.

"Don´t be like that. I give you one week and you will crawl back to me. Or didn´t you enjoy the night?"

"I did. I needed that to be honest. Either way, I can´t continue to do this with you. I love Blaine and if vanilla is what he liked, then I´ll be that together with him."

Sebastian smirked, and without hesitation, he kissed Kurt. The kiss was all Kurt had wanted when kissing Blaine. Forceful, demanding and making him week in his knees. After the lip-contact broke, he rushed out of the club, ignoring the people watching him, and the bouncers questions. He needed to get home. To his and Blaines home.

* * *

**Thanks for reading. You could keep it a One-shot I guess, but I inda don´t want to. I hope the feedback helps me decide. Either constructive or happy stuff. I will be grateful. Also, I´m not in the scene so don´t bash too hard when I did mistakes. It´s fiction :D**

**Oh also, if continued, I will show more love between Blaine and Kurt, since I think it´s really there. Or should I focus on Sebastian? o.o Tell me please ;D**


	2. I took a sip from the devils cup

**A/N: So many of you thin**k** Blaine is gonna end up being a dom...And I never intended to do that, thought about it, but I´m not a big planner. I think that would be rather sudden, I don´t think you just turn a dom in one go. o.o Did the lead character choice mislead? I could change it...but I don´t know, it´s about Blaine still I guess. Anyone who violently hates Blaine not being the dom ? I will try to satisfy those who wish for it...but maybe not completely. :D**

**Thanks to all reviewers. You kept me writing so fast. Especially thanks to those with great ideas and thoughts about the story. And too all my followers. Never had so many. Yaay :D thank you so much.**

**Special thanks: fuyuko318 for pointing out what really is necessary to make this story more realistic. I will gladly tell about Kurts sub past when I think it fits.**

* * *

_I took a sip from my devil cup_  
_Slowly, it's taking over me_  
_Too high, can't come down_  
_It's in the air_  
_And it's all around_

Guilt is something that nags on your insides, dominates your thoughts, in a negative way, and makes you self-conscious. You suddenly notice the way you smell and ask yourself "did I always smell like that, or does his smell linger on me?" As well as other strange questions.

That was what Kurt felt like lifting crème-soup with his spoon, just to let it cascade downwards again. This action was underlined with Blaine's way long explanation of what his evening was like. Somewhere along "I arrived" and "couldn´t sleep" Kurt's thought drifted off. Leaning back, he could feel the hot red skin of his lower back, while the pain of his ass-cheeks had subsided with sitting, until it was only a sweet sting. Something that made him feel all the more guilty, while turning him on.

Absemindedly he nodded as Blaine gestured wildly, probably talking about his performance. Kurt knew that behaving like that would not help soothe suspicion, but it was sheer impossible to concentrate enough. Concentrating meant thinking about confessing. This was something that couldn´t really be an option. Losing Blaine would be the end of him. Far worse than giving up his sexual needs. And that´s why he swore to not even think of Sebastian or any dom for that matter, again.

"That´s wonderful." Kurt said to whatever Blaine told. He could only assume his sentence would fit the conversation, as Blaine nodded in agreement and began to hum one of his solos. That was all it took to capture his attention. After all those years, it surprised Kurt how stunned and overwhelmed hearing his boyfriend sing, still made him. It was not just the voice, it was the way the chocolate-colored eyes focused on him, the smile on his lips, that seemed to be glued there, and the raw feelings, all mixed together in a narrow kitchen. Kurt´s throat filled with unshed tears of happiness and self-hate.

How could he have cheated on someone, whose love he had? Wasn´t that enough? Wasn´t love something that could overcome all? It hadn´t been last night. Last night had not been about love, just about fulfilling his desires. Even if it made him feel like the worst person in life, he couldn´t help but notice the complete state of relaxation he was in. As if whipping and a few fingers up his ass made up for the not so exciting sex he always had with Blaine.

"And how was your evening?"

At this question, Kurts mouth stood agape while his thoughts rushed into each other. He had counted on Blaine asking about his evening, had thought about plausible lies. But not once had he spend a thought on answer the question "How". No matter what his answer would be, there would be questions. If he said it had been great, then what could have made it great? Watching TV didn´t sound like that great to him. So should he go with boring? But his time alone was never spent with something useless as watching TV. Would Blaine notice? Or should he go with talking on the phone to Mercedes, something he really often did. Then again, would she lie for him?

"Ehhh…okay, I guess." Kurt chose to say and eyed his boyfriend anxiously. He was not perfect in interpreting expressions, he assumes Blaine looked disappointed. Like Sebastian had yesterday. Damn him.

"You know, I waited for an answer to my text. Have you been asleep already?"

"Oh. Yeah I…was asleep. Sorry. I will make up for it tonight."

This had been it.

The moment Kurt chose to never reveal his true actions, even if it broke his heart. But he would protect Blaine that way, wouldn´t he? Being circled by his boyfriend's warm arms in a soft embrace wasn´t of any help. He didn´t deserve affection, though subconsciously, he snuggled right into it. After the letdown expression he had seen, the hug was a way of knowing he was accepted again. Kurt breathed in the smell of Blaine, the sweet one of his hair-gel and the scent of his aftershave. Closing his eyes, he knew he would always find comfort in Blaine. He tried not to yelp as hands run down his back and squeezed his ass in a teasing manner. And there was the guilt again.

"I´m so crazy about you." Blaine whispered into his ear, still rubbing Kurts cheeks.

"I love you." Came the equally quiet answer. He almost had repeated his boyfriends words, but thought better of it. No, he was not crazy about him. Doms drove him into the sweet state of mind where he could barely know his name. In which he was so lost in his pleasure, that serving someone seemed indispensable to live. Blaine was someone he loved with his heart and not with his penis.

"How about we watch sports and I give you a massage?" Kurt offered.

"Sounds like you should be asleep more often when I text you."

Both of them chuckled, while Kurt faked it. But soft chuckles turned into laughter, that was highly contagious. Soon they laughed uncontrollably, not because it had been so funny, but because both could feel the slowly returning happiness in their home.

As the laughing subsided, Blaine laid down on the couch on his stomach, his face turned towards the screen. Kurt melted into providing Blaine with joy. He switched on the TV, zapping until big, hunky men could be seen, tackling each other to carry a small ball over the field. At least that´s what football was like for Kurt. Walking in the drawer, he searched for the massage oil, which smelled of rose-petals. When he found it and returned, Blaine had already pulled out his sweater. Grinning, Kurt sat down on his lovers ass, stating it was the best position to message someone. And the firmest.

Ignoring the pain, he rubbed oil in his hands and started with Blaine's shoulders. He was not a professional, but the soft humming showed that Blaine enjoyed it, while Kurt enjoyed making someone feel good.

"Hmm. Yeah, I should be sleeping over at Rosys more often, if that is what it will be like every time."

"You could always order me to do so." Kurt said and bit down on his tongue in frustration, about his own stupidity. He hoped it hadn´t sounded as needy as he had meant it. Suddenly the body underneath him started to shake in giggles and a brown eye met his.

"What are you saying? I wouldn´t treat you as my slave, though that would sure be hot."

Kurt gulped. He could almost feel the air leave his lungs as he tried to comprehend the things said. Should he take these words serious? He wanted to answer, but his words turned into mumbles, as his Iphone started to vibrate in the pocket of his Poncho. He shook his head, ignoring the message and concentrated on his conversation again. But for the second time it started to buzz. An angry sigh left Kurts lips and he stood up. Out of Blaines direction, he could hear the same sign of irritation.

After washing his hands with detergent twice, Kurt deemed touching his precious phone as okay again. And looking at his phone had never felt so wrong. He felt like his heart fell out the window of their 5th floor apartment, only to come bouncing back inside him going double speed.

"Thinking of your red ass-cheeks touching a chair or a couch and you trying to not let it show is turning me on boy. If you were mine I would only let you crawl though, knowing pain gives you pleasure and would not be a punishment. And your red ass wiggling in heat would please me so much. When we meet up again, I want you to properly behave and not cum without permission. So you will train for me. Whenever you pretend to enjoy vanilla with him, you will think of those words and try to keep it in. Be a good boy for me." Read the first message.

Without really wanting to, his body reacted, making him hard. He imagined the scenario, crawling through his apartment until he felt his knees bled, though knowing that his sir would be so proud. After the rush wore off, his penis still being rock-hard though, he grew angry. He hadn´t fully comprehended Sebastian's words, telling him his messages would be hotter.

"Baby, you okay? Was it important?" Blaine called from the living room. Kurt gripped the counter to not lose his balance as he looked at the second text, forgetting his boyfriends questions the instant he saw the picture. On the spreader-bench one could immediately spot the red belt Kurt hadn´t noticed he forgot until just now. Memories of him being cuffed returned vividly.

"I wish I hadn´t permitted a safeword and wouldn´t be such an excellent dom. Otherwise you would never have left, without begging me to replace my fingers with my cock. I could have fucked you so hard, that the said crawling would be an impossible task. I really want to hear you beg for me. Call me when your vanilla grows too boring, and he will in time."

"Kurt?" Blaines voice was suddenly so near, that Kurt dropped his phone in surprise and guilt. It collided with the tiles with a horrible cracking noise.

"I…I…" was all he could say as he picked it up again, avoiding the worried look on his boyfriends face. That would be more than he could handle. Instead he inspected his Iphone for any possible damage. At least it seemed so, while he quickly deleted the messages of someone who had saved his number under "Yessir".

"Had something happened? Is it your dad? Talk to me."

"Yes…no. Jeff wanted to tease me with those gay sex ads again."

Believable, as he sometimes really did and his hard on would definitely not stand for an emergency matter.

"I assume he got the desired intention." Blaine smirked and brushed over his jeans-clad erection when he stood in front of him. Kurt eyes fluttered shut in pleasure. But as soon as he felt cold air on his warm ass-cheeks realization dawned. He half shoved, half grabbed Blaine with one hand, while he pulled his pants on again.

"Whats up?" his boyfriend asked.

"It´s the kitchen Blaine. I won´t have sex at the place we usually make our food."

He expected the discussion was over, but Blaine kissed him and held him in place with that. And without wanting to, he compared him with Sebastian. While Blaine did everything gently, Sebastian had been like an uncontrollable flame, destroying everything getting in his way. This time, only his zipper and his underwear were pulled down enough, to let Blaine have access to his bock.

Blaines tongue caressed his sensitively, as he began to stroke him slowly. Then his mouth trailed downwards, until he knelt in front of Kurt. Right before he gave in to the need to close his eyes to feel more, he could see the red tongue he had tasted only seconds ago, sweep out to meet his weeping cock.

Blaine didn´t tease, he just went down to gentle business. Kurt bit his lips to muffle his moans. He knew Blaine had never complained about his voice. Stated he loved it. But he had had sex with him enough times to know that he was less excited, when Kurt moaned loudly. It hurt in the beginning, but now he was used to biting his lips it seemed. It took Sebastian to make him realize he now did it without thinking.

Blaine's tongue traced the underside of his penis and he bit down on his bottom lip harder. Though he felt pure pleasure by blowjobs, he could never fully enjoy them. Not when he knew what a blowjob by a dom felt like. There was no comparison. It was not the technique, but the feeling of complete fulfillment, when you knew you did so much right when you deserved to have your dom do something so selfless to you. Though not always meant as a treat, when it was, it felt like pleasure and content mixing into heaven.

The blowjob now felt great, made him guilty, but full of love still. Kurt tried to enjoy it as much as he had done years ago, but he knew he couldn´t. Not even if it was the love of his life giving it.

Feeling his climax draw nearer, he tried not to give in. Without wanting to, he felt that he wanted to keep it in as long as possible. He tried not to see it as training, but as a test for himself. Kurt bit harder until he could taste blood on his tongue. His stomach clenched and Blaine swallowed his cock, expecting him to come. When he didn´t, his boyfriend used his tongue again. When he did come, his mind turned into fuzzy white, only clearing after a few seconds.

"See, your kitchen is still clean." Blaine mumbled, having swallowed all of it. The guilt now was as crushing as it never had been before. Tears filled his eyes, as he forced a smile. He had cheated on Blaine. He had cum so fast again. And the worst of all, his sub side felt so disappointed and guilty, all towards Sebastian.

The rest of the day, the couple spent by shopping for groceries, Kurt buying anything Blaine just remotely did more than look at and him returning the blowjob. In the middle of the night, Kurts phone began to ring. At first, he decided to ignore it, but then he thought of Blaine answering the phone and Sebastian being on the end of the line. Rushing to it, he answered it when he got into the bathroom, the room farthest away from the bedroom.

"What do you want?" Kurt hissed, knowing that none other than Sebastian would deem 3 am to be the appropriate time for calling.

"Still so defying? Doesn´t Mr. Vanilla keep you on a short leash? Oh wait, he really does not."

"Shut it. Delete my number and never text me again. Do you want to ruin my relationship?"

A low chuckle could be heard though the phone. Kurt found it irritating.

"It wasn´t me turning up, searching for someone to "order and whip" him." Sebastian said. For the second time this day, his stomach clenched, this time for different reasons though.

"You´re right. But it was a mistake. I love him and this can´t continue."  
"Beg me!"

Kurt sighed. He was tired and exhausted from the day. His whole savings had been spend on a dish-washer, Blaine had only glanced at.

But to say he was surprised by Sebastian's statement was a lie. He had expected this to come. He sneaked to the bathroom door. Opened it and waited for any sign to show Blaine was awake, as none came, he closed it again, and sat down on the bathtub edge.

"Please, leave me alone Sir. I beg you." Kurt begged, putting in all his emotions. He really wanted to be left alone. This needed to stop.

"This is not what I wanted you to beg for. Beg me to meet you. To have another chance of convincing me you are worth being drilled by my cock. Tell me you want me." Sebastians voice was now dripping with dominance, making it harder to talk back.

"I can´t. I´m in a relationship." He almost sounded apologizing.

"A doms obligation is to know a sub better than he does himself. I could be that for you. I know you love him, but he can never be who you need to be content. You will crave for a dom to support you, to know you in and outside and decide for you. You don´t just need a dom in bed, you need it in your life, to feel whole again. Kurt, you know I am right. You know you want me. For all I care, cheat on as long as you can convince yourself that love is enough, because I know you will decide for me in the end."

With shaking fingers, Kurt ended the call and turned his phone off. Sobs slowly left his lips as he thought about Sebastians words. His bitchy side had burned to tell him how wrong he was. But he had just hung up and he wondered if this was just the beginning of his sub character to control his actions.

He had been right, Sebastian was like fire. Burning everything in its process, just to leave it empty and broken.

* * *

**Sexting...even one sided, is rather difficult for me. Never did it haha. And it´s different writing this than normal sex talk, because it needs to be short but still sexy enough to turn someone on, with just WORDS. So if you come up with great sext´s , you can write me :DD Would gladly use your ideas readers-**

**Again, feel free to review, I feel so fueled by them. Please point out what you think I should focus on more. **


	3. I m falling

**A/N: Hey guys :D This chapter KILLED me. I wrote like 5 different scenarios with Blaine and Kurt and this short one was what I sticked with. it´s like the set-up for the future. I promise the next chapter will be hotter and I assume longer :D I wanted to write the phone scene though, but I decided to let you tangle and wait for the next one. 4 is my favourite number so yeah I hope you´ll like it :D**

**Thanks: o.o WTH how many followers. thank you. And Especially those who took the time to review, even on LJ :D Thanks!**

* * *

_Baby can´t you see I´m calling_

_A guy like you should wear a warning_

_It´s dangerous, I´m falling._

As the oil met his skin, Kurt hissed. The liquid burned on his raw skin, still red from handling too much chemical cleaning products. Instead of ignoring the pain, he took it in almost welcoming. This was the only kind of punishment for cheating he could get. Blaine couldn´t know, so Kurt had to be the perfect vanilla to him. This morning, he had woken up at five, stared down on his cellphone, as if Sebastian would call any minute. When he didn´t, which wasn´t very surprising at six in the morning, Kurt felt like choking. He should be happy, but he couldn´t.

The need to please someone was suddenly so strong, that he pinched his still slightly bruised butt cheeks and then went to make coffee. Coffee turned into breakfast and breakfast. The guilt kept him on edge, he couldn´t even smile without asking himself if it would please Blaine. Smiling would never be enough to make up for the cheating, he knew that. That was why he had spend the day cleaning every spot in their apartment, buying Blaine new things over the internet, until half of his savings were spend on useless things. Now he focused on pleasing Blaine in every way possible.

Rubbing his red hands to heat the oil, he gathered all his courage. He had meant to ask that since they were interrupted by the text massage last time. But he had been afraid of rejection.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked. The answer he got was a soft humming, that was muffled by the food in Blaine's mouth. Kurt hadn´t eaten for a day, because whenever he tried to, it felt wrong without an order. And hunger was not nearly as painful as the guilt that bit at him.

"Have you ever thought about doing things differently…in bed?"

Kurt's hands started massaging, because Blaine turned around to face him. He looked serious, his lips set in a grim line, while one triangular eyebrow rose in question. He sounded confused when he answered.

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked.

Suddenly the oil on his hands seemed much more interesting and Kurt rubbed them nervously. He had wanted to talk about this for so long. Maybe cheating could have been avoided if he had just spoken his mind somewhere along the relationship. But hearing the soft voice, that could make even the obvious orders sound like a question, he doubted that. He knew Blaine very well after three years of relationship, two years spend in this apartment together. He knew Blaine always rubbed his eyes while watching TV, that he tried to hide his fear of fire, that he danced like nobody was around and it sometimes looked silly but adorable. He knew all that, and he knew Blaine liked his sex-life. Who was he to change that?

"I meant, we should buy a new mattress, think of all the bacteria's that gather in a two- year-old mattress, yuck." Kurt chose to say.

He broke his dreams of having the perfect relationship with the man he loved. Though that was something he would be able to overcome.

Suddenly Blaine chuckled and grabbed for Kurt's oily hands. Kurt watched in surprise as red lips were pressed to his knuckled, completely ignoring the liquid.

"You Sir, are really strange. But I love that. Can you believe I thought you meant our sex was boring?"

Kurt gulped, avoided the beautiful eyes that were filled with adoration. The word "sir", even if not meant that way, remembered him of Sebastian.

"No, why would I say that?"

* * *

It had been one whole week. A week he hadn´t slept very well, as he feared Sebastian would call him again. He never did. Not since Kurt had hung up on him. That had given him the opportunity to focus on Blaine, or that´s what Kurt liked to call it. Just yesterday he had been asked to slow down by Blaine. To take a break from constantly pampering his boyfriend, doing so much for him, that he completely forgot his own needs. He knew what had caused this behavior, but couldn´t come around to blame him.

He should have known that something along the line would happen, as it had happened before. Facing his old dom, he felt the past like an old cut being ripped open again. When Nick and he had decided to part their ways, it had taken a lot of guidance by him to make sure Kurt would not fall apart. Three phone calls every day had to remind him to eat, another two to shower and to go to work. Whenever Kurt had lain alone in bed, he had blamed himself for making his old dom still worrying about him. Though he had tried to convince him, that it was not Kurt's fault, he failed every time.

It was then he met Blaine. Actually met doesn´t sum it up quite right, since the man had always been right in front of his eyes. But being in a relationship with Nick, Kurt had just ignored the flirting smile Blaine always wore whenever they "accidently" met at a coffee shop. Dating him had provided him with a schedule, which made it easier for his despair to slowly dissolve to make room for love again.

He had made the simplest things like eating or sleeping something to look forward too. Kurt's cheeks heated while thinking of all the happy moments the two had spent together.

Nick, who sat opposite of him smiled as he saw how flushed Kurt was.  
"It has been a long time since you needed my help." He said.

Kurt looked up, enough to gaze at his old doms mouth, still not daring to meet his eyes. It was a challenge he had often fought and lost. Sitting in Nicks new flat, he shared with Jeff, who sat on a pillow at his feet, felt awkward. They had tried to keep contact, but with time, the friendship between him and Jeff had straightened, while the relationship towards his ex wavered. He felt all the more shameful, when he had called him up for help once more.

"I'm sorry if I bother you, but I figured you´d be the one to know what to do." Kurt stated. His throat felt dry, as if it wanted to prevent him from telling the truth.

"First of all, relax. You know Jeff and I could never hate you. Darling, please bring Kurt a cup of tea." Jeff complied with a soft nod. He hummed while walking into the kitchen, which bordered on the living-room.

"Is there anything you want to discuss with us separately?"

"If you would allow me to talk with Jeff after your advice, I would really be grateful." He answered, after having thought about it long enough.

Even long enough, to give Jeff time to place the cup on the wooden table and kneel at his masters feet again. Kurt knew it wasn´t intentional, but seeing Nick tracing Jeff's collar made him jealous and self-conscious. He had never been close to being collared by him.

That topic at least made him focus on why he was here in first place, and he wetted his lips before starting to talk.

"I cheated on Blaine with a Dom I begged to order and whip me."

Jeffs eyes widened and his mouth opened, probably to yell at Kurt, but the hand of his master stopped him in the process.

"Tell me about the scene you two had and this dom." Nicks´s voice wasn´t commanding, but encouraging. He knew he could order him around, knew his old sub very well. He knew that Kurt tended to fall into subspace whenever he felt conflicted. That he didn´t misuse that information confirmed Kurt in having made the right choice to come here.

"He told me to undress and bound my wrists with my belt." He began, breathing in deeply before continuing. "Afterwards he told me to jerk off, but not to come. I…I failed that and he punished me, by strapping me on a bench and whipping me with said belt. When he began to push fingers inside me, I safeworded."

Saying it out loud, was embarrassing for Kurt. He fidgeted and the fingers that reached out for the cup shook. He couldn´t comprehend why he still felt like safewording was like failing someone. Not even his old dom, the man he had trusted with his life, could make this feeling disappear.

"What is he like?" Nick asked again, sounding patient.

"Well, I guess he´s cocky and certain I will come crawling to him in need."

Kurt took a sip of the tea. It burned his tongue, but he kept drinking. It was everything he could hold onto right now. This little cup.

He wasn´t surprised when Jeff was suddenly right beside him and hugged him. Grateful for the gesture, Kurt leant against the smaller ones chest and let himself be held.

"Why are you here, Kurt? What do you want from me? Friends advice or Doms advice?"

"I…" Kurt began, but was interrupted by Nick.

"No. Think about it." He was ordered.

This time he felt taken back in time. It felt familiar and safe, that voice. Jeff felt like a safe harbor as well. Breathing in loudly, Kurt tried to be honest with himself. To understand himself. He had known the answer right away, but he would have lied and chosen the wrong answer instead. So here he was, admitting for the first time out loud, what he shouldn´t think, being Blaine's boyfriend.

"Please tell me what to do as a dom."

Nick nodded and gestured for him to come sit beside him. Reluctantly, he struggled free from the embrace and walked over to his ex. When he sat beside Nick, the dom forced him to look up by grabbing his chin.

"What has being with the Dom felt like? How do you feel about him now?" He was asked.

This was another question he needed to think about, but he knew Nick would wait for it without complaining.

"It felt releasing. It had been so long, since someone ordered me around, told me what to do. Also pleasing him felt like a weight was lifted off of me. I…I wanted him to fuck me, because I knew he wanted to. And now he texts me, saying how he would make me crawl if we were exclusive. How happy I would make him. But he also insults Blaine as being not enough for me." Kurt's words were slow, chosen wisely and reluctantly. He knew them to be true, admitting them was a whole new story.

Nick could feel him tense and started rubbing his back with his free hand. Kurt noticed he still knew the place that could make him melt in contentment.

"Is this all there is to it? Is he only sexting?"

At that, Kurt shook his head. But knowing gestures weren´t enough for such an important matter, he chose to speak as well.  
"He called me a week ago and promised he would get to know me and take care of me. Said I needed him in my life, to let him take control."

Nick made a small noise in the back of his throat. Something he did when he had to think about something really hard. Now it was Kurts time to wait for an advice. He trusted it to help him.

"You know, I have so many questions that would probably help me to judge the situation much better. But listening to you talk about him, one realizes you want what he had to offer. And that is totally reasonable."

"I love Blaine." Kurt interrupted, but was cut short by Nicks scowling face.

"I know you do. But as your former Dom, I know about your sexual needs. And as a dom, I would advice you to meet him. Hear him out. Let him tell you what a life with him would contain. I can tell that you are in danger of driving into subspace and Blaine cannot help you with that. You need control in your life, that Blaine can no longer provide you with it seems."

Nick said and Kurt nodded at every sentence. He still wanted to protest, as if the advice was an order he refused to follow. But he couldn´t.

"That´s my advice. If you however choose to remain in a faithful relationship with Blaine, call me or Jeff. We will do what we can to help you maintain a healthy life, not choking Blaine with everything you will want to offer to soothe your guilt. We can also punish you, if this is what would free you from your guilt. Promise me."

Even at that, Kurt's starts to nod. It´s the low disproving sound that shows him he should speak, this time. Curiously he looks over to Jeff, the cause of the sound. The blonde smiles mischievously, mocking Nick, as Kurt has realized. He suspects Nick will correct that behavior, but as seconds pass by with silence, he turns back to his former dom. As he sees the look of happiness and adoration, he almost flinches.

Nick had never looked at him this way. Blaine never looked at him this way. He had always wanted to feel that. That was the moment he chose to give in to Sebastian's words. In hopes he could provide him with exactly that feeling of utter trust and love.

"I promise."

Nick nodded and pressed a kiss to his temple, before leaving the room to give Jeff and him space to talk alone. Jeff's eyes followed his master, until he finally was out of sight. Then he seemed to realize that Kurt was still here and his posture changed into a more comfortable one. His arms crossed in front of his chest and he reproduced the same disapproving sound.

"I can´t believe you did that to Blaine."

"I know I´m a terrible person, no need to remind me of that." Kurt said, tears slowly running down his cheeks. He cried in silence, rubbing on his cheeks to let the tear-streaks disappear.

In the first few seconds, Jeff's disapproving demeanor never wavered, but then he gave in. With a sigh he hugged his best friend, whispering that that was not true. They stayed that way until Kurt stopped crying. Silence embraced them like a third friend. Then the blond sub decided to break it.

"You know, my master is the best thing that could have happened in my life. I know, a lot of people say that about their partner, but I mean it when I say, I would die without him. After…what has happened to me, I doubted I would trust someone again. But here I am and as a sub, I say you need a dom. Only he can complete you. Don´t you miss the control over you, never having to worry with decisions, because you trust your dom to know what is the best for you? Kurt, I love Blaine, you know that. But you are my best friend and you are a sub. It was only a matter of time before that happened, though I hoped you would break up with him."

Jeffs eyes never left his own. He was now the safe-haven. He knew only a dom could make him feel safer, then he felt with Jeff.

Jeff, a sub who had suffered so much by the hand of his old dom. A lot of subs were mistreated, but didn´t dare to call the police, feeling embarrassed and unworthy to do that. Well, Jeff had done exactly that to free himself from abusing clutches. And still he believed that a dom could make their life's better. What else could be more convincing? Kurt wanted to grab a phone and call Sebastian, but he would do that later.

"What if I lose Blaine over that?" Kurt asked, afraid of the answer.

"I won´t lie to you and tell you, you can have both. You will have to decide in the end, if Blaine is enough for you, vanilla or not, or if you find closure in this dom. Still, meet up with him to know for sure what you´ll choose."

* * *

Kurt found himself in the bathroom again. One look to the clock showed him, that it was almost 3 am. Blaine slept like a turtle during winter, they did, didn´t they? Well, after another round of soft sex, cuddling and loving words, he had felt numb with guilt. He had lain awake for hours, staring at the ceiling and waiting for it to subside. It hadn´t and he had to give in to the urge to call Sebastian.

Even after the talk with Nick and Jeff, he hadn´t been sure if this was what he wanted. If he could have a life without Blaine by his side.

Sleepless hours had at least provided him with a solution that would hopefully satisfy everyone. He would call Sebastian and take orders over the phone. That way, it would never lead to actual sex. Kurt thought the plan was brilliant. Everyone would be satisfied that way. Blaine, because Kurt didn´t technically cheat, Sebastian because he could finally order him around and he, because he needed to be dominated.

Still, now facing reality, his finger hovering over the name "Yessir", it wasn´t as easy as it sounded. Sebastian would probably be asleep, he told himself. Maybe he could call later, when Blaine would be at work and he could have a break from typing his new script he worked on.

No, he thought. It would always be like this if he wouldn´t call now. Jeff and Nick were right, he had to give it a try. Otherwise Blaine would become even more suspicious. Nervously he pressed the call button and listened to the dial tone. His heart beat twice as fast as it had mere seconds ago. If Sebastian was awake, he took his time, but Kurt knew better than to hang up. The dom was in charge, and he would decide how long he wanted Kurt to wait. And so he did. It took almost up to a minute until the dial tone stopped and soft breathing replaced it.  
"Tired of too much Vanilla already?"

Kurt wanted to object, his instincts told him to, but Sebastian had been spot on right. He really was tired of vanilla, not of Blaine, but of the sex.

"I am, Sir." He chose to answer.

He listened to Sebastian breathing and wondered what his facial expression would be like. Would he be happy? When he spoke again, his voice sounded huskier.  
"What is it that you want from me boy. Don´t dare to lie to me or hang up again, or this would be it."

Kurt knew he meant it. And even If he wanted to, he felt intimidated. Like a mouse facing a lion. Or no, a mouse in a cage, safe but restricted.

"I want you to dominate me Sir. Tell me what to do and I will."

* * *

**I have planned where this telephone conversation goes, but what do you guys think? And what do you think about Nick and Jeff. I love them *-***

**Still open for sexting- ideas...sounds pervi. :D YEHA :D**

**Reviews fuel me. They always do. Tell me what to write if you want this story to go your way...I´ll reconzider it :D**

**QUICK QUESTION: I saw Sam and Blaine pictures...one of them KISSING?`Oh my god, I so want to watch the english episodes, but also like to keep my monday glee routine. So, is it true, Sam likes Blaine? ...hot :D Noo more information than yes/no please :DD**


	4. Thinking of you

**Hey guys. :D As promised a longer chapter. I hope you like it if not let me know :D This practically killed me. I hate writing fighting scenes -.-**

**Thanks to: Reviews , you are all so wonderful :D Thanks for taking the time :D**

**Impressive amount of Readers and followers 3**

* * *

_He kissed my lips, I tasted your mouth_

_He pulled me in I was disgusted with myself_

_Because when I´m with him _

_I am thinking of you_

_Thinking of you_

_What you would do if you were the one_

_Who was spending the night_

_Oh I wish that i was looking into your eyes_

"First of all, tell me where you are and where Mr. Vanilla is? You´re still with him, aren´t you?" Sebastian questioned.

He sounded amused, as if he basked in the feeling of victory over Kurt's mind. Undoubtedly, he had won the battle, Kurt had fought so hard against.

Blaine would probably object to that, but he couldn´t know how the tension in his body eased at hearing the dominant voice. But his boyfriend slept in their bed, oblivious of what Kurt was about to do.

Kurt looked around, took in the white tiles of the narrow bathroom, the tub on his left hand side and the sink opposite of him, while he sat on the equally white toilet. The cold plastic of the toilet-seat hadn´t heated to his own body-temperature yet and cooled his skin.

He thought about describing the bathroom, but decided against it.  
"Yes I am, but he is asleep. I´m in the bathroom, sitting on the closed toilet seat, Sir." He spoke rather quiet, but he still felt it was too loud.

Kurt expected Blaine to burst into the room and question who he was talking to in the middle of the night.

"Undress yourself quickly. I won´t wait long."

And that, he did. It was a simple order, something he couldn´t fail. He struggled with his narrow shirt and the underwear, in which he tended to sleep in. After short seconds he grabbed the smartphone and pressed it to his ear again. It shook in time with his fingers and his voice was a whisper when he spoke.

"I did, Sir."

"Good, now sit down again and close your eyes." Sebastian ordered his voice still even. Kurt complied."Now spread you legs and imagine me watching you. Taking in everything you would offer me."

Hesitantly, but nonetheless eager, Kurt did as he was told. He spread his legs as far as he could, his muscles aching in the uncomfortable position, shaking after short seconds of holding it. His rational mind knew that no one was watching him. For all he cared, he could have played with his gameboy instead of following orders, Sebastian wouldn´t know. Still, he felt like being watched, being observed and analyzed. This was a test and his body enjoyed it highly. Even the first command had left him hard and yearning for release. He wished for Sebastian's hands, pumping him relentlessly while forbidding him to come.

"Now tell me what you need, boy. Tell me what you would want me to do." Sir said.

Kurt could hear the slightly louder breathing, imagined Sebastian jerking off with the thought of him. A warm feeling ripped through his body, leaving him even hotter and happy. To tell Sebastian what he wanted him to do, suddenly felt so easy. As if he hadn´t thought about it the whole week long.

"I want you to take me as you see fit." He breathed. Kurt's free hand grabbed for the toilet seat to have anything he could cling to prevent touching the throbbing penis.

"Such a good boy, but that was not what I wanted to hear. What do you need?"

Kurt's body responded with shivers, trailing along his fair skin. Unintentionally his legs spread even wider and he let out a needy sound. He knew that what he was about to say would break the line, would finally be what he dreaded to call it, cheating. But now it was too late, his body wanted it and so did he.

"I want to feel Sir inside of me, taking me so hard I can only think of you."

As soon as the words left his mouth, the thoughts of Blaine vanished. He knew by the low chuckle at the other end of the line, that Sebastian had expected him to contact him, no he hadn´t doubted it at all, still Kurt could feel no remorse. Not when he felt so good.

"Touch yourself boy, rub your free hand over your upper body."

Kurt did, he ran his fingers over every patch of naked skin he could reach and moaned quietly when he slid over one of his hard nipples.

"Massage your left nipple and pinch it."

Sebastian's voice now sounded hitched at some words, loud breaths now frequently leaving his mouth. Kurt smiled in knowledge of pleasing his dom. At first he pinched lightly, but feeling this didn´t live up to his fantasy of Sebastian doing it, he pinched harder.

"You are making me so proud, you now have permission to jerk off however you want, while listening to me."

Kurt sighed in relief as he started to run his hands eagerly over the sensitive skin and then started to rub the tip with his thump. He suppressed his moans, more afraid of drowning his Sirs voice, than waking his boyfriend. In fact, waking Blaine didn´t even come to his mind at all.

"I know you would come to me, boy. The way your dick grew hard just from my dominating presence made it clear, that you needed this. Tell me, who can make you feel this way?"

"You sir." Kurt moaned.

The movement of his free hand quickened as he leaned back on the toilet seat to open his legs further. Cold plastic met his hot skin, causing goose bumps on his back.

"Exactly. You are a sub in need of me. Beg me!"

Kurt felt his climax draw nearer, but this time, he tried to keep it in. His fingers rubbed even harder. He needed release and he knew the only way to get Sebastian's permission was by begging and he happily supplied with that.

"Please, Sir. Please let me come. I beg you to let me come."

The short seconds, it took Sebastian to answer were hurtful for Kurt, but also felt like an old friend. He had missed and feared the feeling of handing your pleasure, as well as you body and soul, to someone else.

"Come, my boy!"

The don commanded and Kurt was more than ready to comply. He moaned and wiggled when his stomach unclenched and hot pleasure seared through his body. Warm cum collided with his upper body, some even hitting his neck, though he didn´t care. His eyes fluttered in pleasure and he felt like every breath of air wasn´t enough. It was intense. More than he had ever felt since over a year.

"Do you still want me inside of you? Filling you to the brim?" Kurt was asked by an equally exhausted, but still commanding voice.

"Yes, Sir. Please fi…" He said, buit before he could end his sentence he could hear the squaking door of his bedroom open and a sleepy boyfriend mumbling something. A low "fuck" left his mouth before he could prevent himself.

"What is wrong?"

"Blaine woke up. I´m sorry, I need to hang up."

Kurt had never heard silence being loud, up to this moment. His eyes flew open without permission and he pulled on his clothes, still waiting for an answer. From outside the bathroom door, he could hear steps drawing nearer.  
"Keep going boy. Grab some lube and start fingering yourself." Sebastian said. He sounded angry and disappointed, though not even remotely unsure Kurt would obey. And Kurt wanted to, really did. But not with his boyfriend right outside the door, asking if he was okay.

"No, I can´t."

"Do it."

"No." Kurt whispered as he tried to be quiet enough to mislead Blaine.

"You know this will be over when you decide against me and for Mr. Vanilla? If you hand up on me, this will be it, do you understand?" Sebastian asked, leaving no doubt he meant it. Kurt felt his chest tighten, as he listened to both his sir telling him this would be over, while Blaine's concerned voice asked about his wellbeing again.

He didn´t want to decide, he had to. He broke down on his knees, as if Sebastian could see it and understand his decision. As if that gesture would make anything better. Then he hung up on him.

He had no time to process any of that, since he watched the door handle being pushed down. Blaine would see him and ask questions, maybe even know what he had done.

Instead of that happening, the door rattled, the lock Kurt had activated without thinking, preventing the worst.

"Kurt, open the door! Tell me what's wrong." Blaine's words now comprehensible with no other voice disturbing it. Though it held no commanding tone to it he followed. Actually, it sounded worried sick.

Kurt forced himself to stand up, his legs wobbly from his now relaxing muscles. His gaze landed on the bathroom-mirror that hung over the sink. Tears brimmed from his eyes, to quickly to catch them, even if he´d try. Sebastian would be gone for good and if he couldn´t come up with an explanation, Blaine would be too.

When he opened the door he muttered some lame excuse about his toe hurting from bumping against the toilet. He hoped the poor lighting in the hall would hide enough of his face to conceal the obvious lie. Only the yellow light of the bathroom in his back made it possible to watch doubt cross Blaines features.

"Who have you talked to?" He asked, shoving him aside, as if someone could hide in the small space of their bathroom.

All the while, Kurt felt hot and cold at once until his body stuck with the freezing chill. When Blaine stood in front of him again, he tried to compose himself and his thoughts. He could do this. Could cheat and get away with it, because he needed Blaine in his life.

"I cursed a bit after that damn toilet had the audacity to stand in my way. Seriously, in my slumber half-awake mind, I really believed someone had moved it there just to mock me." Kurt said, trying to act.

His years in glee-club hadn´t exactly been about acting, but it was something he could cling to nonetheless. He almost jumped in joy when he heard Blaine sigh and rub at his eyes, and then embrace him so hard, it felt troublesome to breathe.  
"Well, in my slumber I thought you hid a guy in there."

"Why would you think that?" Kurt replied and relaxed into the soft gesture of his boyfriend. Evidence of his phone sex still clung to his hand and unknowingly he wiped it on Blaine's shirt. Mixing the two things he felt like needing in his life together.

* * *

He had typed so many words, so many different tries to approach Sebastian, but he ended up deleting all of them. The courage he had had while watching Nick and Jeff interact, had faded over the two days and he felt exhausted. Kurt had promised to go to Nick when he felt like totally drowning in submission towards his vanilla, but he just couldn´t. Not when he felt like such a failure.

He had done about everything Blaine had wanted, scrubbed at the dishes for over an hour, until Blaine had asked him why he was acting so strangely. Then he had to tell him to eat, because Kurt only stared at his food, waiting for the command. And no appreciating words fell, no "good boy" or " well done boy", because Blaine simply didn´t know. He didn´t know how devasted his boyfriend felt without reassurance. Guilt kept eating Kurt alive, thinking over calling Sebastian or calling Nick to dominate him. To give him some closure. He knew that would not help lessen his guilt, but it would help him relax and turn into his usually calm self again.

Blaine's suspicious manner hadn´t calmed down since the night in their bathroom. It grew to the point that he Kurt felt as if he was under permanent observation and questioning.  
"Where have you been? Who was that on the phone? Why did it take you so long to go shopping?"

"I was at Jeffs. My father and Finn shortly after that, asking me what to buy Rachel for Christmas. It´s December, everyone is out to buy presents." He had answered, this time telling the truth. Though after lying so often, he felt like even now he was acting to deceive deliberately.

In this moment of silence, when he had finally started to eat, realizing no one would tell him to, he started to wonder. Dinner like this had always been fun barely one month ago. They had talked about their day, had bickered about some annoying event and had laughed until their food got cold. The only thing audible was the soft ticking of the wooden clock and their cutlery scraping lightly against the plate while cutting the beef.

Yes, Kurt wondered if this was all his fault. Not much had changed, at least he tried not to let it show however he could, but Blaine had to be blind to not notice something was off. Kurt cleared his throat after gulping down a piece of meat that felt like thrice its size.

"Well, it´s mild for winter huh?" As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized how stupid he sounded. Apparently Blaine thought the same, his face scrunched in confusion and distaste.

"We are really doing this?" Blaine asked after a short pause in which the clock sounded even louder. He had abandoned his dinner, shoved it farther away from him, before leaning back and crossing his arms in front of his chest. Kurt knew Blaine didn´t look that way very often, but when he did, shit was going down.

"Doing what?" Kurt responded, avoiding eye contact.

"Don´t play dumb. Trying to have a conversation about the weather? How old are you Kurt? 12? Tell me what's wrong? Have I done anything to make you behave like a lunatic?"

Kurt gasped, unsure if he should feel insulted or relieved that Blaine obviously thought him too innocent to cheat. His rational mind tried to tell him he shouldn´t be hurt and degraded, but of course his body thought otherwise. Without really thinking about it, he hugged his body and dug his nails into his sides to prevent himself from reacting harshly. Of course it failed.

"I´m not a lunatic. Nice of you to call me that."

"Hey, you know I don´t mean to offend you. It´s just that just this morning you brushed your teeth for 13 minutes and wouldn´t stop before I told you to. Your hands are raw from doing the dished for an hour. What you do is obsessive Kurt and I worried, so I googled your behavior and I think you have OCD."

OCD? Kurt almost giggled because it sounded so bittersweet and wrong in his ears. And he almost found himself doing it, when he caught Blaines troubled face and saw the hand reaching for his over the table.

"I don´t have OCD, Blaine." He explained." I really don´t."

"Then what is it? You´re acting strange and you leave me out the whole time. How am I supposed to help my boyfriend, if he is too busy being crazy."

Kurt had predicted this to happen, as he chose to ignore the outstretched hand until it closed around air. After two years of relationship, he knew that rejecting this affectionate gesture would only anger Blaine. Worry switched into hurt and irateness, which only fueled Kurts own.

"I am not crazy! Just because you don´t know me well enough to understand what I´m going through, doesn´t mean I´m acting strange. It´s just that I don´t trust you enough to tell you what is wrong." Kurt said and watched as Blaine's eyes dropped to the floor and his mouth opened and closed, no words escaping it.  
"Are you even listening to me?" He questioned and waited for his boyfriend to answer. Only silence replied and Kurt found himself not being surprised. Whenever shit hit the fan, Blaine would shut up and ignore him. Who was 12 now?

"Are you ignoring me now? Oh how mature of you." He spit, almost afraid of doing something wrong all the while. But this was not a dom, he reminded himself. Again he didn´t receive an answer and that was enough to let the fury run to zero. He knew most people would be even angrier with being ignored, but his first Sir had used this to punish him and in this moment he could only think of that. Of how disappointed he was at himself for saying those things to Blaine.

"I still love you Blaine. Do you still love me?"

His hand reached over the table top in a reflective manner of the earlier gesture, but much like he hadn´t taken it, Blaine wouldn´t.

Kurts throat clenched up and he repeated his words. When his boyfriend didn´t react, he tried to walk over and kiss him, as if the touching of lips could delete the last minutes.

"I didn´t mean what I said. You are my everything and it´s my fault for not being able to open up a little more, not yours. Please, talk to me. I love you." Another kiss was pressed to seemingly lifeless lips. Opening his eyes shortly after, he saw the raw anger and hate in Blaines expression and stumbled backwards. This was not usual, but neither was he. Kurt was far from being normal and Blaine had every right to call him a lunatic.

Wiping away the silent tears, he walked away from a night full of explanation he owed his boyfriend. It took the unyielding smog of New York to make him realize he had nowhere to go. Sure he had friends, but he feared he would spill his beans in his state of mind. Nick and Jeff would be an option but he supposed they had better things to do than bothering with him again. There was one place he could think of that would rip open wounds, the bdsm club he had met Sebastian in, but he chose to ignore this urge. Maybe a bar could provide him with shelter.

* * *

Kurt sniffed thinking about his misery, how cruel everything was, as he gulped down his 9th shot of whiskey. Right now he sat at some kind of bar, the first one that didn't disgust him at first sight. The barkeeper had tried to slow him down after the sixth shot, but Kurts sobs had shut him up. How could 9 shots make him forget about the fight he had tried to flee from? They couldn´t and his dizzy mind told him that more alcohol would help.

Indeed it was for the first time though, that Kurt´s sub character had taken a deep blow, having disappointed someone so precious and being called abnormal. Of course Blaine hadn´t known that, thought of this fight as any other. Something Kurt would never leave over. But he did, he had grabbed his shoes and his jacket and rushed into the New Yorker night.

When the barkeeper refused to let him have another shot, Kurt gave up. He paid an incredibly large sum for that little alcohol and stumbled out of the bar. Opening the door, cold air rushed into his face and sobered him a little. Sobered him by feeling run over by a train, that is. Nonetheless, he was able to haul a cab. The car stopped in his tracks, seeing the drunken man waving around awkwardly.

As Kurt slid into the backseat, he hit his head on the ceiling and cursed.

"Where to?"

Yea, where did he want to go? In his drunken state the bdsm club sounded like a good plan. He would see Sebastian, hook up with random dom #2 and show him what he missed. If the driver knew the destination was of that sort, he didn´t show. Or at least Kurt couldn´t make any emotion out in his state.

While they drove, he mumbled along the wrong lyrics of the song being played on the radio. As the obnoxious sex talk poorly hidden in the songs changed into a deep heartbreak song, by Taylor Swift, Kurt started to sob. He was certain the driver saw it, and was grateful he didn´t comment on it though. He tipped the driver gratefully for that., as he got out at the right destination. The world spun again as fresh air replaced the muffled cab-air.

Slowly he placed one foot in front of the other, gripped the banister that lead him down to the metal door. This time he didn´t hesitate, only staggered while walking. Like they did last time, two bouncer stood and gaped at him, as he tried to surpass them to the next door. Before he could reach the handle, a firm hand stopped him in his tracks.

"Wait. Did you drink before coming here?" He was asked. The face he looked at blurred a little bit. He wasn't certain which bouncer he was facing. His thoughts were jumbled and he chose to go along with what was the easiest to say.

"Yep. A little." A small giggle erupted and shook his body. To him his words were the best joke ever told.

"We can´t allow you inside in that state. Please, go home. Shall we call a taxi?" The other bouncer went away, and while Kurt shook his head until he felt like puking, he returned with a glass of water.

"Sit down and drink." He was ordered and sobbing a little, crying at his own twisted fate, he obliged. The chair he was pushed down on, was still slightly warm. From inside the club he could hear music.

"I don´t want to go. I need to tell him. I need him…I." Kurts voice broke several times and he found it hard to not continue repeating the same thing over and over again. Eventually he stopped, as the hand of bouncer a returned to his wrist, to squeeze it in a comforting manner.

"Hey. Who do you need? Is your Sir inside? We could go talk to him to come outside if you would want that." He offered. Through tear-filled eyes, Kurt looked up and nodded. He didn´t even comprehend, that they didn´t know who he was looking for. They needed to ask for him to understand.

"He is not my…you know. But I need to show him I´m worth his attention. I need him to help me."

"Can you tell us his name? Did he state his name boy?"

"Sebastian." He sobbed. Kurt felt uncomfortable speaking his name, not referring to him as Sir, as he had been told to do. Without further questions, Bouncer B went inside and left Kurt and the familiar dom alone. Time passed without Kurt knowing how fast. He was far too drunk for that.

"I cheat on my vanilla boyfriend." Kurt confessed out of nowhere. Just because he felt like it.

"And now we had a fight and I just felt like my Sir could make everything better. I love Blaine so much. So much, that I can´t get over him insulting me and not be told he loves me afterwards. To know it´s not a punishment being called strange or something, but his true thoughts. Can you understand that? Do you?"

Without his consent, Kurt was hugged so hard by the well-built- men, that his sobs turned into soft whimpers. In the embrace of an alien men, he let loose, cried and mumbled two names. Or one and a title to be more accurate. Both of them remained that way, the bouncer not even faltering, as the door was opened and two men let the small space feel way too crowded.

"Hands off him." Sebastian growled, and Kurt felt oddly happy with the command, even though he felt cold without the additional bodyheat. The commanding voice reminded him of why he was here, and suddenly sitting on a chair felt like an insult towards his much higher positioned dom. In his drunken state, he fell to his knees, but couldn´t support his weight and landed face down in the blood red carpet. He yelped as the pain hit him delay. It spread from his nose out on his face. Still, he could still only think of Sebastian towering over him. He needed to convince him he was worth the attention. Reaching out his aching hands, he grabbed for Sebastians legs and held onto them as if his life depended on it.

"Please, I will do anything. I can ch…cheat on Blaine. I need you Sir. Please don´t abandon me. I knew I did wrong. You can punish me any way you see fit.", Kurt pleaded." Whip me, share me, cut me, burn me.I will be yours to command and will never complain again. I promise to never use my safeword if this is what you want Sir. I will undress myself now and you can do whatever you want, ok?…I just..I…I´m drowning."

Towards the end, Kurts voice started to lower until it faded into whispers. With all the strength he had left, he robbed over the carpet and pressed his lips to Sebastian's leather-boots.

People mumbled above him, too low to have him concentrate on it, as he focused on the task at hand, his tongue leaping out to trace the small buckles. Before he knew what happened, his tongue only tasted air again, as Sebastian seated him on the chair again. He didn´t deserve this. The floor was his place in not only this relationship but also in society. And he struggled to get down on his knees again, until he realized it was the dom holding his shoulders. This was a silent order.

"Shh, boy. Tonight, you will sleep at my place, and we will talk about your behavior tomorrow. On the way home, you will open your mouth only to answer my questions, or to tell me if you need to throw up. Do you understand that?" Sebastian sounded almost gentle, far from the man Kurt had acquainted with, while his orders still held power over him.

"Yes, Sir. I will be a good sub. I will please you. Just please don´t let us fight anymore Blaine."

Kurt didn't notice he had mixed up both scenarios, while his sober side would have seen Sebastian apparently had. The dom sighed and ran his hand trough his brown hair.

"I said, you are not allowed to speak anymore."

The sub still replied with "yes sir", before finally shutting up after seeing Sebastians warning glare. They drove in silence in the dark-blue car Sebastian had parked behind the club, no music playing. Twice they had to pull over and Sebastian had to guide Kurt into an alley. The first time he had to puke his guts out, caused by the soft swaying of the relatively old car, the second time he needed to pee.

By the time they reached the outskirt of the town, Kurt was slightly sober from throwing up and a light buzz started to build in his head.

When they reached Sebastians house, small, white and surrounded by a picket fence and a neatly kept garden, Kurt doubled over again and emptied his already empty stomach in one of the bushes. He thought he remembered being lifted and carried, none to gently, inside his house and then dumped on a couch.

He looked up and regretted it instantly when the light of a chandelier caused the headache to heighten. In order to prevent further damage, he shielded his eyes and almost missed the dom towering over him.

"The bathroom is over there.", Sebastian explained and pointed at one of the doors on his left side." so go in there to puke and don´t you dare ruin my carpet. This is where you will sleep and actually you should be grateful to even have the privilege to do so. Tomorrow you will have to face consequences, boy, so I advice you to stay!"

After that, Sebastian went without any explanation and returned shortly after with a blanked and a pillow he handed to the sub.

"I…Of course, Sir. Thank you, Sir. I will take any punishment you see fit for me. If you want I could abandon my safew…" He wanted to repeat, having forgotten he had already offered that, when he was cut off.

"Don´t you dare say that again. I don´t care if you are intoxicated or not, you shouldn´t even think about ignoring safewords. What would you do if I said yes to all your offers? Would you be able to bear being cut, strangled or burned and could keep in your safeword?"

"I…I…" He mumbled. This answer seemed to be proof enough for Sebastian, as the dom left the room without further acknowledgement of Kurt. This night he wept into the pillow silently, drowning his sobs in fear Sebastian would hear him. He had messed up his picture perfect relationship with Blaine and he bothered Sebastian with his presence alone. The only thing keeping him on the couch was the hope of a punishment for all his sins on the following day.

* * *

**Question: How do you want both relationships to go, or what do you think will happen? :D Curious as hell.**

**PS: I notice no one reading my author notes...at least almost no one answering me haha :D**

**reviews fuel me.**


	5. Slave 4 u

**A/N: Wow, som people really think I abandon a story so fast huh? I think it was just three weeks ago I updated? :D Well no, I am not stopping to write on this, just because I have more stories or something. I like writing this actually. Even though some Klaine fans are not as nice, but at least not really mean and I appreciate this. So for those who are Klainers- like me actually but not always in fics and that´s why I like to write Kurtbastian also- look at the end of this chapter :D And this is the longest chapter I have ever posted on , so enjoy and sorry for a delay.**

**Info: I have started another D/s fic- Klaine for sure this time hehe :D**

**Warning: If you really hate Kurtbastian then this chapter isn´t for you I guess. Except for the end so scroll down if you want to avoid reading something you don´t like :D**

**Thanks to those who asked me if and when I will write further and all the kind reviews. You guys are awesome :D**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

_I'm a slave for you_

_I can not hold it,_

_ I can not control it_

_I'm a slave for you_

_I won't deny it,_

_ I'm not trying to hide it_

* * *

When Kurt woke up, he wasn´t lucky enough to have forgotten the last night. No, it appeared to be vivid, taunting him. He had fought with Blaine and had left, he had told Sebastian he was willing to do anything.

"Shit." He cursed while rubbing his hand over his face.

Loose strands hindered his sight as he took in the living room. In front of the couch he slept on a glass table was standing, a white candle places carefully in its middle. Otherwise the table was empty. The second thing he noticed is the lack of a TV. The color of the wall was almost unrecognizable because of many full shelves stuffed with books, DVDs and Disks.

The first thing he did after getting up, was heading into the bathroom, still knowing to which door Sebastian had pointed. It took him a while to find the switch and when he did he was surprised that the tiles he had felt under his naked feet were black instead of white. Just like the living-room, the bathroom was clean, in such a spotless way, that Kurt doubted Sebastian was the one responsible for it. Maybe the simple looking exterior was just a distraction from the expensive inside someone kept clinically clean.

After relieving himself, a quick cleaning and a doubtful gaze in the mirror, he headed back to the couch and lay down again. It took two hours for the bedroom-door to open and reveal a sleepy looking Dom. Like a child on a Christmas day, Kurt's excitement rouse with the sight of him and he sat up a little straighter. While waiting he had thought of the many possible ways he would face Sebastian if he woke up. None of them emerged in his head now.

Sebastian's eyes landed on him and captured the subs attention. He was clad in a black silk rope that brushed the pale legs when he walked over to the bathroom. Then the moment was over with the closing of the door and Kurt relaxed in the soft cushions. Sebastian hadn´t said anything, just as Blaine hadn´t yesterday. Silence had been a punishment he really disliked. Silence meant no singing, no loving words, not even acknowledgement.

Kurt knew that when many minutes passed that Sebastian was making him wait on purpose and he understood why. He had screwed up yesterday, big time. As if hanging up and ending it hadn´t been enough, he had been dead drunk and begging like a complete moron. He could be grateful he had been allowed to sleep in his house and not under some bridge, probably freezing to death in the process . At times like this he wondered if being a sub was a curse he had begged the devil for in a former life.

No one had forced him to research bdsm when he graduated, it had been his own decision. He just felt like it when he was released by all the pressure he had been under in his teenage years. First there was his father who had always seemed so tough and manly that Kurt had tried to be a good and straight son. Since this wasn´t as easy as he had thought it to be, he chose to tell his Dad, who seemed to be completely okay with it. That lifted some of the pressure that only crushed down harder when Burt had a heart attack.

For the next month, Kurt had worried and taken care of his father, but he soon realized that doing so fulfilled him. The second thing he felt pressured by were the bullies he needed to fend off. Day in and day out he had felt responsible for himself and even the whole gay community. It felt tiresome and in some nights he had wished he wouldn´t need to wake up to prevent himself from the next day.

New York had taken that away from him. While school and his hobby occupied him, there was no one around that he could care for, not even himself. No more bullies were there to ruin his day, his das was taken care of by Carole and he felt the burden he shouldn´t have with all this freedom slowly settle down in his body. The stress kept him awake at night and exhausted at the day time.

Slowly the emptiness had filled him and he had felt restricted. It felt like he needed someone to take the burden off his shoulder while allowing someone else taking care of him. A magazine had given him a shove in the right direction, as he saw one of the nude boys kneel obediently on the floor at someones feet. Curiousity sparked through him, even though the idea to do something as pathetic as obaying someone, freaked him out. Still, he had read the article. First just that one, an interview with a Sub, telling about his life in a Total Power Exchange relationship.

That had been enough to bring him to read more about it. In the beginning he told himself he was just curious and disgusted by it, but soon he couldn´t lie to himself any longer. After doing a lot of research, he had gathered enough courage to mail a Dom on one of the bdsm forums to ask if they could meet up.

Joey had answered, had taught him the basics and had been patient. In the end they didn´t work out and Kurt had met Nick through Joey. They had lasted for over a year and he couldn´t deny that Nick had been the one to teach him how complete obedience could make him feel. He had droven him to limits and held him before Kurt could fall if he needed it. After the month of being a single and a mess at it, he had met Blaine and they had very slowly begun to fall in love. It hadn´t been like it had with his Doms. With Blaine it hadn´t been fast and pleasurable, but heartwarming and melting.

"On your knees." Sebastians sharp voice said and even though Kurt hadn´t noticed his arrival, he instantly dropped down beside the couch and knelt, his thoughts cut off and drifting to Sebastian kept his eyes on the floor, so he could only make out bare feet as the dom sat down on the now vacant couch.

"You know boy, I don´t get it. You are so willing to submit, why do you deny your nature and choose that vanilla? Or are you trying to lead me on?"

"No Sir." Kurt replied and watched the straight toes of Sebastian curl into the soft, brown carpet.

"Then what is it? Why were you at the club if you are in a relationship?"

He gulped down, as if his answer could be drowned. The Dom hadn´t ordered him to keep his hands behind his back, but he subconsciously did and only noticed then he had. Maybe Sebastian was right, he was a sub at heart. It felt like a miracle that he had drowned the deep desire inside his body for three years now.

"I don´t know."

"You do boy. What makes you hesitate to speak your mind?" The Dom asked.

He leaned in the soft cushion of the sofa, while Kurt's knees ached under his bodyweight that felt heavy with left-over alcohol in his system. The same thing made his tongue slip all too eagerly, even if he didn´t want to.

"Fear, Sir." He answered quietly, his eyes locking with the Doms feet.

"Do you fear me?"

The sub gulped at that and nodded before shaking his head. A part of him was afraid of Sebastian, but that was not why he couldn´t admit the truth right away. It was more like it could become reality if he said it out loud. He still found himself wanting to spill the beans, even though no comforting gesture was didn´t surprise him though. Not after what he did yesterday.

"I went to the club because I thought one evening, living my old life again, my desires, would be it. As if it would set everything that was slightly crooked in our relationship straight again. What I fear now is being in too deep. That it will tear me apart and you both along with me. I never wanted to hurt anyone, I never planned it to be cheating." He admitted and felt a hand grabbing his hair the next second.

Sebastian pulled on the short strands until Kurt was forced to face the Dom. The tug hurt, but strangely made him feel safe, because he was being touched and captured.

"This is a fear I can´t help but wanting to enlarge."

"What?" Kurt asked confused. The sudden outcome of their conversation made him feel uncomfortable and he tried to struggle, but Sebastian gripped his hair even harder, making him wince.

"Don´t get me wrong, boy. It´s not my intention to harm you. At least not emotionally."

The sub gulped at seeing the smirk and thinking of the physical harm the Dom already had inflicted. A pleasurable pain, that let his body shiver.  
"But I want you to fall apart, at my side, so I can build you anew. You have so many things you could learn from me, if you would let me. Things doesn´t even know exist." Sebastian said.

His hand tugged harder on the short hair and Kurt whimpered as pain mixed with pleasure, creating a sensation he had secretly craved for. For the moment his head remained in a halting position, neither giving in, nor fighting against it. He knew what it would mean if he did and he was not ready to take that step. And apparently the Dom knew his thoughts and pulled harder. Kurt, who was still kneeling, gave in, in order to avoid him being severally hurt. His body was slowly being bend like a bow, his knees protesting because of the strain it caused and Sebastian's lips were just a few centimeters in front of his. He was full exposed, as his hands were grabbing his ankles in support, causing absolute defenselessness.

"Sir, please." He pleaded and Sebastian started massaging the back of his scalp, while keeping the sub in his position with his own body.

"Tell me, have you ever let a previous Dom drive you to your limits? To the point you feel like a mild wind could blow you over the edge?"

"I…I…"

"The things you mentioned in your drunken state, whipping, bloodplay, burning, have you ever let somebody do this to you?"

The presence of the Dom both intimidated Kurt and aroused him. His cock was hard in the jeans he had worn over night and sweat dripped down his neck, leaving lukewarm trails on their way. It felt like the warm fingers in his hair caused his body to overdrive. Sebastian's hand opening his zipper and squeezing the subs cock over the underwear did nothing to improve his train of thought.

He wanted to answer but the angle his head was in only allowed him to whimper. The sound increased as he felt the fabric sliding down his ass just enough to reveal his privat part.

"Answer me and you may be allowed to suck me." Sebastian commanded, his hand squeezing Kurts cock again.

The sub groaned under the message of both his scalp and his penis. Just thinking about finally making this Dom proud by sucking his cock was driving him silly. He could feel the rational part of his brain finally lock away, with all the love for Blaine with it, as he lost himself in submission. He forced himself to steady his breathing and relax until it felt natural.

"I never have." He admitted.

His body shivered as he couldn´t look away from the hard on that was visible under Sebastian's trousers. Without realizing he licked his lips and the Dom laughed seeing Kurt finally in subspace, obedient as he had wanted to be.

"Would you want to?"

"I don't know Sir."

Kurt felt ashamed of his words, disappointing his Sir, but he really wasn´t ready for such big steps just now. Doing huge things like burning would need much more trust in Sebastian. Though he had to admit that he wondered if a whip could feel pleasurable too. He had taken slaps, crops, belts to his ass and back, but never a whip. Without realizing it, the sub had leaned closer to the lower body of the Dom that now gripped his hair in guidance.

"That´s okay. I won´t force that upon you, if you aren´t ready for them yet. But if you crave for it I will be there to provide it for you boy. Now service me!" Sebastian said and finally let the sub see what was underneath his rope.

Kurt smiled in adoration at seeing his Doms cock. It was slightly larger than his own he thought and not as pale. He licked the tip, tasting Sebastian for the first time, before taking in as much as he could. His left hand messaged the Doms balls, as he let his tongue caress the underside of the penis. He noticed the hands never stopping the tight grip on his hair, pressing him down deeper on the cock. Kurt almost gagged, as Sebastian started moving, fucking the subs mouth.

Kurt had missed that. Knowing the dom had control over his body and he would have to trust him to know his limits. He felt used in a good way. Sure, it felt uncomfortable and he couldn´t suppress the gag reflex when he felt the tip hitting his throat, but the feeling of pleasuring someone made up for that.

"Breathe through your nose." Kurt hadn´t noticed he had forgotten to breathe, but obliged when ordered to.

Meanwhile he tried to be good for his Sir, letting the tip of the tongue caress his dick. He felt it twitch and knew he would soon get to taste his Sir for the first time. And he would swallow, if Sebastian didn´t command him otherwise. His hands massaged harder, the circles digging harder into the soft flesh of his Dom. When Kurt felt the warm liquid run down his throat he swallowed. He savored the rest on his tongue when the now softening penis retreated. After he felt like knowing what Sebastian tasted like, he swallowed the rest.

"Such a good boy. You took it so well for me." The Dom praised him and his fingers were now gently running through the short brown hair.

In this moment Kurt felt like seeing fireworks. It had been so long. The warm shivers and the content feeling he had missed so much were finally back to settle in his body once again. In contrast to that he felt a nagging in his mind. A voice telling him he didn´t deserve praises, when Sebastian had promised to punish him. He dared to slightly look up into the beautiful eyes of his Dom, who smirked. Apparently he hadn´t forgotten either.

"I know you remember my promises of punishment. Indeed, you were a good boy now, but yesterday not so much. You are not allowed to come in this week. Whenever we meet this month, you will crawl by my side while you are gagged. Tell me what you did wrong to deserve this, boy."

"I hung up on you. I disappointed and humiliated you in the club when I turned up drunken." Kurt answered, his heart throbbing while the words felt heavy in his mouth.

It had been so long since he had felt so bad at someone else's disappointment and he didn´t remember repeating his mistakes being so hard. He wished the punishment would take the invisible weight resting on his shoulders, so even if he knew it would be hard not to come, literally, and his knees would have rug burns, he knew he needed that.

"Right. And you chose to fancy your boyfriend over me."

Sebastian's hand reached out to touch him, but he flinched and fell backwards, his knees still on the ground and his leg muscles aching in the position he was in. His boyfriend. Blaine. How could he have sucked another and not think once about his relationship?

"I need to go, Sir. I´m sorry." He murmured, gathering his thoughts and rushing out of the space his head had been in.

And just like that, emotions flooded his system all at once, causing tears of regret and self-pity. But even in this rollercoaster of feelings, he crawled instead of walking, even if it felt humiliating thinking about Blaine. How he had spent the night? With a stranger as well?

"Stop boy!"

At the command he had almost managed to cross the threshold, when he obeyed and stopped. He heard the soft sound of footsteps drawing nearer and didn´t know how to react. Sebastian was right to be angry at him.

"Do you want to talk about him? I know you weren´t just drunk because of me, but because of that vanilla." Sebastian said, sounding uncomfortable.

When Kurt looked up he could even see the uncertainty in his eyes and his expression. His Dom was apparently not the type of man who liked to talk about feelings, which made it only sweeter that he would ask Kurt about something so personal. Still, the Sub wasn´t sure what to do at the moment. A part of him wanted to tell him, while the other part felt like that he would betray Blaine even more with that.

"Could you…hit me while listening? I mean as a punishment, Sir." He whispered, seeing it was the only solution.

"Undress you lower body and come sit in my lap, facing me, when you are finished."

Kurt did just that, ignoring the cold air and the embarrassment that he felt being naked in broad daylight. Noticing that his Sir had seated down on the couch and put on his rope again, he crawled over. The soft rug seemed to transfer into a hard, unyielding fabric the more he moved his knees over it. He felt the sting when he straddled Sebastian's hips and his skin collided with the seemingly soft couch fabric.

When he started to tell the Dom about their relationship lately, about him slowly turning into someone who lied and became overly submissive, Sebastian brought his hand down on his butt cheeks in hard slaps. This time, the hits didn´t have a pleasurable hint to them. They only stung and made him sob after the first ten were given. But he didn´t beg Sebastian to stop.

He needed this punishment for his cheating, because no one else would give it to him. The one-sided conversation wasn´t once interrupted by snide remarks or jokes about their vanilla relationship. The only sound accompanying his voice was the sound of flesh on flesh. When his voice faded out, having told anything he wanted to, the last two slaps on both cheeks calmed him and the tears finally left his body as he simply dared to hug his Dom.

"What we do here, is cheating, I would lie if I had to say it wasn´t. But you boy, don´t cheat because you don´t love him anymore. I wish you didn´t because I want you for myself and myself only. Still I know you need this and you know it too. Don´t hate yourself for craving it, when it is a part of you." Sebastian whispered into his ear, massaging the blood-red cheeks, worsening the sting while it felt like a silent comfort as well.  
"I know I will lose him if I continue and I can´t have that. But when I choose to never cheat on him again, we will fight because I will be unable to do anything without being commanded."

The words Kurt spoke were more self-calming and explanatory to himself than Sebastian and he knew it. This was him coming up with unnecessary excuses and he flinched at realizing that. His hands wound into the soft brown hair of the Dom as he pressed his shaking, numb body against Sebastian's.

"I´m sorry." Kurt said, not sure himself why he apologized."Please don´t make me feel better about myself. Please hit me more Sir, tell me…just tell me…"

The kneading hands of the Dom stopped in their task as Kurt's words were drowned in soundless sobs that raked his body. Silence clung to both bodies, only disturbed by quiet cries and mumbles. With every passing second Kurt's sorrow increased and he understood that he wasn´t good enough to receive such calming measures for a second time. Just as he was about to stand up, he felt the familiar sting of a harsh slap on his right ass cheek and hissed. He only realized he had forgotten to breathe, when the sharp intake of breath was overly welcomed by his body.

"You are mine, boy. Your body is mine to order around, as is your mind. It is me who you have to trust to make decision." Sebastian said, underlining every second word with another slap. "Nod if you understand it and vow to obey me!"

Kurt's thoughts were focused on the pain in his cheeks and through his sobbing he heard the words like he was under the water surface. But he understood them nonetheless and nodded until his head felt like exploding under the pressure.

"I vow to obey you, Sir."

"Good boy. From now on you will meet me at Reeds, a dinner two blocks away from here. You will meet me every Monday, Thursday and Friday at 4 pm. You will be there on time, and you may walk instead of crawling in public. Insidemy house, you will do as I have ordered. Whatever you want, I will provide you with and you will obey me completely in return."

Sebastian said, his voice ringing loud, reaching through the surface Kurt felt like being under and pulling the boy up. Even though the slaps still hurt and increased in force, his tears subsided as he now calmly nodded.

"Yes Sir."

"You will cheat on Blaine with only me, will find pleasure in me. This is not an option anymore boy. You will do as I say or you will disappoint me and have to face punishment."

Kurt took breaths in time with the slaps now, feelings his skin was surely raw and felt hot and cold at the same time. He clung to Sebastian, his nails digging through the fabric on the shoulders into the soft skin and muscles of the Dom. The sound of a lotion opening didn´t frighten him anymore, he even felt the need in him roar like a wild animal.  
"God."

Two fingers at a time entered him, leaving a lukewarm trail of the oily lotion behind when they retreated only to push harder in. Whenever Sebastian's wrist brushed the stinging skin of his cheeks, his body tensed and he clamped down on the intruding fingers. The sub could feel the pleasure take over his body for a second time, building fast and unyielding.

"Relax and take me in, boy. Don´t forget, you are not allowed to come" He heard Sebastian whisper against the shell of his ear and the following tongue dipping into it.

His anus stung as it was scissored and shoved in relentlessly. Meanwhile he tried to obey, tried to relax, but his body wouldn´t. It had been so long since he felt like someone treated him like a man instead of a fragile, little doll. Sebastian held none of Blaine's gentleness. Instead it matched the wild need he felt he had buried for such a long time. It felt like with the third finger crushing into him, making him scream, the Dom opened up this buried treasure.

His erection throbbed in time with his speeding heartbeat. Moans left his mouth unwillingly, when the bite on his lips loosened with a soft but reprimanding kiss. A silent reminder that his Dom wanted to hear his voice.

"Please." Kurt screamed, when the fingers hit his prostate and his body was consumed in hot pleasure, trembling and powerless.

Then a slap hit his already sore ass, and it almost made him come. Despite the pain he had formerly felt, this slap was added to his pleasure and not a punishment. His stomach clenched and his balls grew hard, as he clung to the edge. He mustn´t come. And just like that, the fingers left his hole that clamped around the empty feeling Sebastian had caused with the ceasing actions.

"Not yet. You have not earned the privilege of my cock inside of you, boy."

Kurt panted , still clinging to the Dom but slowly nodded. Even though he felt embarrassed at now being good enough, he knew Sebastian was right. After everything that had happened, he wasn´t good enough to be fucked yet. But maybe soon. He felt save when the Dom picked him up, hands right under his buttocks, carrying Kurt into the bathroom. While walking, his erection rubbed against the silky rope of Sebastian and he was all the happier when cold water spread over his penis when they reached the bathtub. His shirt was lifter over his head in a swift motion and he relaxed when Sebastian started to wash his body.

Instead of tugging up his sleeves, the Dom undressed as well, but didn´t get into the bathtub. Knowing Kurt was watching, he let the sub take in his lean and muscled body, before bending down to clean him. Kurt felt exhaustion run through his body as foreign hands shampooed his hair and run up and down his body. They even dipped into his hole again, too short to leave more than a spark of pleasure. It was just another place Sebastian had to clean. The best part was definitely when Kurt was ordered to turn around and for long minutes the showerhead let cold water sooth his hot butt cheeks.

"Why haven´t you ever mentioned being a sub to your vanilla Kurt?" He was asked and felt oddly calm. Something has changed within him, making him trust Sebastian.

"Because he would try to dom for me."

"And he couldn´t do it right." The Dom completed his sentence and Kurt was relieved he wasn´t forced to say it himself.

The towel he was handed when all the soap was washed from his body felt soft to his hands, but burned terribly on the parts Sebastian had struck or the rug had rubbed raw. Almost dry, he climbed out of the tub and kneeled at the Doms feet, like he had been punished to do. The towel drying his wet hair showed that he approved of Kurt's action. After redressing in his shirt, he followed his Sir to the living room again. It felt awkward, crawling after such a long time. It would feel even weirder with a gag in his mouth, though he remembered feeling calm and safe whenever Nick had used it on him. For now he was free to talk, but chose not to, while he redressed. The silence was broken when he yelped as hands helped him rebuckle his belt, but he let them.

"I assume you want to go play happy family with your vanilla again, boy?" Sebastian asked with a smirk, but this time Kurt returned a genuine smile at the returning evil remarks.

"Yes Sir. I want to."

"Then you are free to go. Just remember this spice when you are trying to enjoy rainbow sprinkles." Lips pressed down on his. He opened his mouth obediently when Sebastian's tongue licked at his upper lip. Without trying to fight, he let the Dom take the lead, savored the clicking of teeth as the kiss grew fiercer and hotter.

* * *

Getting home, Kurt stood in front of their door for a long time. The brisk December air pulled at his too thin jacked, as if it wanted to drag the jacket away. His left hand lay on the wooden door, now as red as he imagined his ass would be. It took a lot of courage to knock he realized, even at his own house, but after he felt he couldn´t bear the coldness anymore, he finally did. When Blaine opened the door, warmth rushed over him from the warm inside. But he could feel it wasn´t just the heater that overpowered the winter air. It was the smile Blaine had on his lips, the tears pricking on the eyes of his boyfriend that gripped his insides and never wanted to let loose.

"I thought you wouldn´t return." Blaine said, his words croaked and his hands were trembling as they reached for his icy cold one, encasing it.

It felt like an apology and a replay of yesterdays rejected affection now with a different ending. Kurt still noticed he still stood outside, so he stepped in. His boyfriend didn´t take a step back, so Kurt's and his face were only inches apart.

"I will always return to you Blaine." He found himself saying and knew it was true, when a warm body embraces his. Since Blaine was smaller and his face was buried in Kurts jacket, he couldn´t quite make out the words the man said, but he hoped they mirrored his thoughts. _–I love you-_

The guilt that should have increased because of what he did with Sebastian today, felt almost nonexistent. Sebastian hadn´t crossed his mind when he held his boyfriend, just as Blaine hadn´t when he was in subspace. Kissing Blaine, he took the lead, knowing that his boyfriend liked it. Against Kurt's cold lips, his lips felt even hotter and the kiss was long and soft and sweet. Kurt hadn´t enjoyed kissing Blaine so much for over a year now, but he melted into it now.

"Kurt, I am sorry for yesterday. Just know I will be right here when you are ready to talk. I will be there for you."

"I know. I´m sorry too."

When they stopped hugging, Kurt closed the door he had completely forgotten up till now and then started pulling off his shoes and his jacket. All the while he noticed Blaine watching him with a gaze that remembered him of the beginning of their relationship. When everything had been so exciting, from the vanilla kisses to the vanilla sex. He had worshipped Blaine Anderson and the sparks in his stomach replicated that feeling under the loving gaze he hadn´t known he had missed. Joining hands, he let himself be lead into their living room.

He knew that it was thanks to Sebastian that his guilt had now subsided. Up until now he hadn´t understood the importance of the Doms orders to cheat. Sebastian hadn´t said it because he was evil and selfish, he had wanted to lift the guilt by commanding it. Subconsciously Kurt understood, but for the moment he didn´t care.

Not at seeing the red and white striped blanket, Carole had given Blaine for Christmas, now spread on the living room floor. The furniture was pushed to the walls to have more room in front of the fireplace, Kurt had once insisted their home must have. The fire cracking inside the chimney created an eerie, almost medieval glow on the things placed on the blanket.

Wiping away tears of joy, he squeezed Blaine's hand to show him how much he loved it without saying anything. The gesture was returned, as he led him to sit down on the blanket. Kurt's throat filled with unsaid words as he realized what this was. A perfect replication of their second date. His eyes scanned the room, his heart beating just thinking about what he hoped was sure to come any time soon, and he found it. The old guitar.

* * *

**Tiny spoiler: In the following 2 to mostly 3 chapters you will understand why I don´t chose to change the pairing. Just as a hint, I will write what a lot of people demanded after the first chapter, but maybe not as some imagined I would. Vague much? Well I know what I mean hahaha :D **

**Reviews fuel me. :D**


	6. The way I loved you

**Prepare to be stuffed with fluff in the first part and well..something interely else in the second 3. The song in the begining is so fiting to firs Blaien and then Sebastian I think. So don´t skip it :D**

**& I wanted to apologize for updating so late. i was in a crisis with this story, but you reviewers pulled me out at last. THANK YOU!**

* * *

Chapter 6

_He is sensible and so incredible_

_And all my single friends are jealous_

_He says everything I need to hear _

_And it´s like I couldn´t ask for anyting better!_

_Breaking down and coming undone_

_It´s a roaler coaster kind of rush_

_And I never knew I could feel this much_

_And that´s the way I loved you_

* * *

Kurt listened to the soft cracking of firewood when Blaine picked up his guitar. His limbs were still frozen from the walk through the December night, just slowly thawing with the heat of the fireplace. His hand stretched out and he placed it on Blaine´s knee, when the first chord rang through the living room. Kurt listened attentively as his boyfriend began to sing.

_And all my walls stood tall painted blue_  
_But I'll take them down, take them down and open up the door for you_  
_And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies the beautiful kind_  
_Making up for lost time, taking flight, making me feel like_

Kurt snorted in delight at realizing why he thought this song to be familiar. He had listened to it several times already, but had never paid attention to it as he did now. Blaine´s obsession with girly songs from Katy Perry, Taylor Swift and Demi Lovato had reached its peak with the release of Taylor´s new album. So yes, Kurt knew this song, but now it sounded far better. Like a new favorite song.

_I just want to know you better know you better know you better now_  
_I just want to know you better know you better know you better now_  
_I just want to know you better know you better know you better now_  
_I just want to know you know you know you_

Blaine smiled at him, making him blush for what felt like the first time since their dating period. He felt like it was allusion to the fight they had yesterday. Kurt should have felt guilty and having the nagging feeling in his stomach that he should be telling Blaine about his affair. But his mind was filled with thoughts of love and longing for Blaine so much, that his secrets appeared to be trivial.

_Cause all I know is we said hello_  
_And your eyes look like coming home_  
_All I know is a simple name, everything has changed_  
_All I know is you held the door_  
_You'll be mine and I'll be yours_  
_All I know since yesterday is everything has changed_

When Blaine finished the song, Kurt couldn´t suppress his urge to kiss him any longer and soon their tongues met while the guitar was pressed between their bodies. "I love you" Blaine whispered against his lips between soft pecks. "I love you." Kurt replied.

Blaine´s touches, down his spine, in his hair, on his cheek were feather light and warm, like the warm sun on a Mayday. Nothing had felt as right as this for such a long time. Kurt hoped that Blaine had meant it the way it felt for himself. That they could have a fresh start. With the room decorated like the place they had held their second date at, it made it all the more clear how far they had come. The hands that had been hesitant on their first time, after the heat had worn off and their eyes met in the dim lit room, were now steady and calm. Gone along with it were the fluttery butterflies at getting to know each other and thinking they could rule the world together. But not the love. Never the love. It had grown with the years they had managed to stay together, to be Klaine even after fighting and realizing the other one had flaws as well. Here they were, close enough to share a breath, as they explored well-known territory and losing themselves in the depth of their eyes. Kurt moved in, kissing his boyfriend´s upper lip softly. At the angle his head was in, he could feel Blaine´s eyelashes caress his skin when he closed his eyes. A soft chuckle left his mouth at that and he pulled away.

"What? What is it?" Blaine asked a smile on his face as his hands slid under the hem of Kurt's shirt to rest on his still cold hips.

"Your eyelashes tickled me."

"Did they? So the rest of your body feels neglected and wants to be tickled?"

As fast as he could, he tried to scramble away from Blaine to avoid his destiny. He didn´t get far. His ass stung when Blaine sat down on his hipbone, but soon the tickles distracted him. Blaine had years to find the spots his body was the most sensitive and he used his knowledge shamelessly.

"Bl…Blain..e. Please…" He managed to wheeze between the huffs of laughs. Hands switched over to the left side of his abdomen while he struggled. The weight on him prevented him from escaping and Blaine proved to be too strong to fight off while laughing,

"What is it? I think you are enjoying yourself immensely, are you not?"

"Mercy…Mercy!"

"Never!"

Tears slowly left trails down his temples and he had long given up the fight, as his stomach began to hurt. He was too weak to do more than laughing and trying to breathe in between.

"Mercy…Sir."

It was out, before he knew what he said. Kurt swore his heart stopped for a second, as he trained his eyes on Blaine to see what damage he had done. Unfortunately the tears had left his sight blurry and only the motionless hands were an indication of the words that had been uttered and their impact.

"Okay, okay. You´ve had enough for today. But watch out Hummel, you are not off the hook yet." He heard his boyfriend say. Not quite sure if Blaine had simply ignored it, or thought of it as a joke, he swore to be more careful of his words in the future.

"Will you let me sit up now, or will you proceed to crush my hipbones?"

"No, not until I feel satisfied."

Blaine then leaned down, kissing him again. This time heatedly, tongues touching and teeth clashing. Just like the guitar had been, Kurt's hands were now sandwiched between their bodies and couldn´t move. He felt himself grow hard and waited for the kiss to end to speak.  
"I would love to continue this nice…talking, but I wouldn´t want your plans for the evening ruined."

Blaine pecked at his lips, before he kissed his way down to Kurt´s neck.  
"What do you think I have planned?"

"Well, knowing you and your meticulous habit of being a prince Charming replication, you probably hide the same things in the basket we ate at that date. The projector is probably already set on showing the 1931 version of Dracula we had to watch in the drive-in cinema on top of your car-roof, cuddling because it was February and freezing. Only the end of tonight will be different from our second date."

"Tell me, how do you think it will end?"

Tilting his head to give Blaine more space to kiss his neck, he willed himself to say the last part. Dirty talk should come easy to him, but with Blaine it was different. He felt himself blush.  
"Instead of kissing me goodnight, we will have sex in our own bed." He gasped.

They kissed again, and Blaine cupped his neck with one hand, letting his thumb brush his jawbone. Kurt shivered at finally being content with such gentle touches again.

"Not what I planned, but oh well. If you force yourself on me, I guess I have to comply." Blaine teased.

It took several minutes for them to finally unwind and sit down on the blanket to have dinner. Just like Kurt had predicted, Blaine had thought of everything. The sandwiches with whole-wheat bread and salat, tomatos and turkey breast for himself and toast with peanut butter and jelly for Blaine. They drank red wine, reminiscing in old memories and telling childhood stories they hadn´t told yet over the years. Kurt ended up resting his head on Blaine´s stomach, feeling him breathe in or shake when he laughed. The wine made him slightly tipsy, but he didn´t care too much. He wasn´t one to overstep the line of being tipsy to being dead-drunk and a little too open.  
"Have I told you how I leaned to ride a bike?" Blaine asked, laughing before he even got to tell the story. Kurt opened his mouth to receive another slice of apple his boyfriend fed him with, before shaking his head no.

"Okay, listen. So there I was, five years old and proud owner of a bike without stabilizers, right?"

"Ahuh?"

"And I remember my father telling Cooper to make sure to teach me how to ride." Blaine chuckled again. "But being Cooper, he took me to a park, said I should try to keep my balance, before flirting with some chick from his school."

"Stupid Cooper."

"Psschh. I´ll get to it. I sat down on my bike and thought, who needs someone to teach me how to ride a bike anyway? At first it was super awkward and I fell a few times, but then I thought I had the hang of it. I felt super awesome at learning so fast. Then I saw a cool looking guy lift his front wheel and do a jump on a small brick wall."

"Oh my god." Kurt interrupted, knowing where this would lead.

"Yeah. I called Cooper like: ´Hey Coop. Watch what I can do, without your help.´ Then I drove as fast as I could against the wall. Next thing I know, is how hard a brick wall can feel against your head. I was lucky I had my helmet on and I only had light scraps, a slight concussion and were crying manly tears. Cooper was grounded for two weeks for not supervising me. Good times."

Kurt was caught in between pity and laughing, until he chose to ridicule his boyfriend for full five minutes for being so stupid as a kid.

"Don´t tell me that´s why you never want to go on a bike tour with me."  
"Hey, I am sure you did pretty stupid things as a child as well." Blaine accused him. Setting the wine glass on the blanket after having a sip, he replied.

"Never. I was a picture perfect child."

"Should I call Burt and ask?"

"Well, I may have put on heels with three and pretended to be Marilyn Monroe, but that doesn´t count."

Now it was Blaine who had to take several minutes to calm down from having a laugh fit, before they could continue talking. All the while his stomach shook so much, that everything was a blurry mess for Kurt as his head shook in time.  
"You are so awesome. No, really you are. But you have to have a stupid childhood memory of yours."

Kurt giggled at first, but then shut up to smile fondly at remembering his past.

"I used to love earthworms-"He began to confess, but his head slid lower when Blaine sat up suddenly.

"You got to be kidding me."  
"I wished, but no, I picked them up and watched them creep in my palm actually."

"No way. That is…wow. Kurt."

Deciding to just tell the rest of the story, before tipsy Blaine would gush on about how strange, or awesome that was, he shut him up by continuing.

"As I said, I loved them. So one day, I grabbed an empty jam jar, gathered some mud, earth and grass and after the next rainy day, I went to grab some earthworms to take them home. My mum immediately laughed at seeing what I had done and asked me why I did that. I can´t remember myself what I answered but my Dad has told me over and over, so it feels like I can."

"Kurt, you don´t have to-" Blaine interrupted him.

He knew that talking about anything just relating to his mother would make him sad. He had tried to hide it, but by the end of the night he couldn´t hold back his tears any longer, because at those times he missed her so much it hurt. Blaine was there for him in those nights, bringing him milk with honey and sugar and reading the book Kurt was currently reading out loud until he would sleep again. He really was Prince Charming.

"It´s okay. It´s actually a really happy memory. When she asked me why, I apparently answered ´Because it can´t be fair that earthworms stay outside when it rains. They always seem to be searching for something, when they don´t even have eyes. Can´t I keep them at home, at least until it´s warmer?´"

Blaine let out a content sigh and ran his hands through Kurt´s hair."

My mum wasn´t delighted, to say the least, but Dad had always had a soft spot, so they let me keep them overnight. I put the jar on my night stand and went to take a bath. When I returned the lid was unscrewed. I was afraid they would escape so I quickly put it back on. My Mum came in to read to me and tell me goodnight and saw what I had done. She said the earthworms needed air, but I was really afraid they would be gone when we did that. As it was, I insisted she would leave them alone. Well, the next morning they were dead and I cried."

Blaine chuckled lightly, again creating the little earthquake with his stomach. At the same time he picked up the apple slices again to feed his boyfriend.

"Wanted: Kurt Hummel for murder."

Both laughed as if that had been the greatest joke of all time, no thanks to the wine getting to their heads. After having eaten everything Blaine had prepared, they lay down on the couch and started the movie. Against the wall they had left white for the projector to work the best, the old movie seemed even older. The fire was slowly dying with no one to refill the wood, but they cuddled closely and were warm. Halfway through the movie, Blaine closed his eyes and slept, so Kurt remained the only one really watching the movie. By the end of the movie he poked his boyfriend's thigh to wake him. As always, it took minutes of pursuing him to stand up and walk to the bedroom. Blaine mumbled something incomprehensible, but a promise to make it worth it, did wonders to wake him.

In the bedroom, Blaine was fully awake, pulling at Kurt´s clothes to undress him. It took some time and coordination for both intoxicated men to undress, but they managed after some time. Every inch uncovered was worshipped by Blaine´s mouth, kissed and tasted. Kurt could only lie down and gasp.

"I love you Kurt. I wanna grow old with you and have ten kids and they should all look like you!"

Knowing they both had a little too much today, the words shouldn´t make his heart beat so fast, but it did. This was what he wanted, since he was a little boy. Someone to spend the rest of his life with. How could he ever think Blaine wasn´t enough?  
"I am so sorry. You are the most amazing thing that had happened in my life."

"Don´t be sorry baby. We can overcome anything. Anything. For you, I would move mountains if I could. Wherever you go, I will follow!" Blaine said determined.

His body slid lower, until his hand lifted Kurt´s right leg. Kurt felt the strong hand support him, as kisses were pressed to his inner thighs, moving lower and lower, until lips met his balls. He didn´t doubt Blaine´s words this time. Maybe tomorrow he would, not now, when he felt loved and cared for.  
"Blaine oh. Let me take care of you today."

"No, I was a jerk to you yesterday. Let me make up to you."

Kurt´s protests were drowned, when the wet cavern of Blaine´s mouth surrounded his cock. Teasing the slit made Kurt´s words regress into gasps and moans. He could feel Blaine´s tongue draw lazy circles around the head of his penis, before he finally took in more, letting it run over the vein on the underside. Over and over again, Kurt repeated Blaine´s name, as his boyfriend bobbed up and down, letting his lips and tongue caress the sensitive organ. Even if Blaine was unable to take him in all the way, it still felt like the best blowjob he had received in years, if not ever. The places he could reach, he stroked with his fingers. Instinctively he still bit down on his lips when he was close, drowning the high-pitched noises that would otherwise escape his throat. He had to make Blaine happy in return. When he came, his head was thrown back into his pillow and he bit down even harder, until his body swam in the wonderful afterglow of coming. Kurt quickly wiped away the blood his teeth had drawn, before Blaine could see.

"That was…amazing! Thank you!"

"Up for more, ?"

Kurt nodded and relaxed further. They had done this enough times for him to know, that Blaine wanted to do most of the work. He would prepare him, thoroughly, and he was the one who wouldn´t let Kurt ride him. But for once in over a year, Kurt didn´t mind. The gentle fingers, pushing into him, one after another, while Blaine´s face hovered over him, only lit by a small lamp on a night stand, made him ache for more. He slid his arms around the broad shoulders of Blaine and pulled him closer, his eyes never leaving the soft brown ones. If he noticed that Kurt anus was a little stretched already, he didn´t let on. As Kurt wouldn´t show that he still felt a little sting from Sebastian´s relentless fingers that had entered him earlier that day. He dismissed those thoughts to focus on the man he loved again.  
"Always you." He whispered against swollen lips, not repulsed by the taste of his own cum. Both gasped when Blaine found the spot in Kurt´s body that felt wonderful, since Kurt´s body rutted against Blaine´s erection.

"Kurt, you will always be my future."

They kissed, moaned and mumbled eachothers names, after Blaine had entered him. It was very slow and careful sex, maddening soft and awfully loving. Knowing they both were clean, didn´t make them less attentive and Blaine never had sex without a condom. Their hands traveled over the others body, spreading heat. When Kurt grew hard, Blaine stroked him into completion, before coming himself. Tired to the bone, but endlessly happy, they went to take a shower. The bright light hurt his eyes at first, so Kurt was glad when he could close them as the water hit his face. They had quickly washed themselves, too exhausted and wanting to go to bed. It was only when Kurt got out, that a surprised gasp echoed in the bathroom.

"…Your butt."

"My what?" Kurt asked, bending in an awkward angle to catch a glimpse at said body part, but he didn´t have to when his memory trickled in. His butt cheeks had to be pink from the beating.

"I can´t remember much of yesterday´s night, but I woke up on the floor of a bar. Apparently I fell one too many times." He lied.

His worries to be discovered or under further investigation went down the drain with the water of the shower it seemed, because Blaine laughed, before throwing a towel at him.

"I love you, even your clumsy drunken self."

* * *

On Monday, Kurt felt a little surreal when he arrived early at Reeds. The message of Sebastian had been short, only reminding him to remember the name of the Diner and the time he should be there. The last few days with Blaine had been spent in bed, cuddling and talking mostly. Hey had made dinner together, gossiped about the awful new trends they had missed when Kurt had been in deep forced submission. Gone were the needs to hear an order to do anything. Just being with Blaine felt natural. Though he had to admit, he felt calm in the knowledge of meeting Sebastian. He had told Blaine he would meet an old Highschool friend who had just moved here and had practically told him about Sam when he was asked what he was like.

It was easier than making something up. Looking around the diner, he saw that it had a counter for coffee as well and looked rather homey with light wooden floor and charming white and red checkered table cloth and a lot of people talking, creating that low hum over the music playing in the background. Unsure on what to order, not knowing If Sebastian wanted to do that, he just bought a water bottle and sat down in a booth in the centre of the diner. Kurt didn´t wait for long. The Dom entered the place right on time, immediately spotting him, as if there was only one table Kurt would have sat down at. He was dressed rather casually, with a grey v-neck shirt under the unzipped black leatherjacket and a loose fitting dark-blue jeans. He made It seem as if it wasn´t a late December day, and more like early summer. When he sat down opposite him, Kurt lowered his eyes to the tabletop.

"Hello boy. I see you already placed your order." Sebastian said.

This was not a question and Kurt was unsure if he should answer or if this was a simple remark. Sebastian had said that he only had to crawl gagged inside his house as a punishment, but did he have the freedom to talk his mind because of that?

"Have you obeyed my commands over the weekend, or is there anything you need to confess."

He opened his mouth to reply that, yes he had been good, but snapped it closed when he remembered he had come despite the order to prevent that for a week. The feeling of height at receiving praise and the pride in being obedient were replaced with the crushing feeling of disappointment.  
"Yes, sir. I came without your permission."

Sebastian clicked his tongue disapprovingly.

"I´m sorry Sir." Kurt whispered, afraid someone would hear the title, even if it was unlikely with the noise level.

"Hands behind your back, straighten your back and open your legs. Yes, like that. This is the position I want you in every time we are here, except for when we are eating. You will not move from it without my permission and you will only speak when being asked or if you yourself ask politely. It will be my power to either grant your wish, or not. Every time we meet here, I will be the one to place our orders and determine where we go after that. Do you understand boy?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Good."

After that it was quiet for a long time, before the Dom told the waiter what they would have and it remained silent until the plates were brought. Kurt tried to appear impassive as a cheeseburger and curly fries were placed in front of him. A part of him had hoped Sebastian would understand that he liked to eat healthily.  
"Eat, boy! You are too skinny for my tastes and a burger once in a while won´t kill you." Sebastian said.

He himself had ordered spaghetti cabonara. Under pressure, Kurt ate everything and had to admit it tasted better than he would have guessed. Still, he couldn´t help but cringe at knowing how much fat oozed out of the fries.

"I would have thought you were a more obedient sub. Disobeying in a punishment is not something I will tolerate. What would you decide as your punishment? Choose wisely, if it isn´t according to my likes, I will add more to it. Either way I will add some for biting down on your lower lip when I told you to stop that habit."

Kurt quickly let loose of his lips and lowered his head in shame. He had to think about what would be appropriate for this misbehavior. If he did decide for strokes with a crop or a paddle, it would be hard to explain to Blaine If he didn´t, Sebastian could simply hit him even more.

"10 strokes with a paddle, Sir."

"15 and two more for biting."

He caught himself wanting to thank him, but then he knew better than to do that. His shoulders relaxed after sitting in this position after eating again and he felt self-conscious under the Dom´s eyes.  
"After I have paid, we will go to my place. While walking you can walk as you may, but your eyes will be lowered to my feet and you will walk at my heel. As soon as we enter my house, you will drop to you will undress and crawl for me. Do you think you are able to do that?"

"Yes,Sir."

"Fine." Sebastian answered, brushing his knee with a hand, before getting up to pay at the counter. Kurt did as he was told all the way to Sebastian´s place. At first it was rather hard to follow the dom´s pace, but he got the hang of it and was proud when he stopped when Sebastian did.

Inside the house, he quickly undressed, folding his clothes neatly and getting down on all fours, while the Dom watched. He opened his mouth obediently, when a ballgag was pressed against his lips. The familiar taste of plastic would soon mix with his saliva, but he tried to distract himself. That wasn´t too hard, since Sebastian undressed as well and he greedily took in all he could before he would turn around.

"You look beautiful like that, boy. But it´s time to teach you a lesson."

This was all he said, before turning around and walking down the hall. As quickly as he could, Kurt tried to crawl after him, not bothering how he looked for now, without someone to watch. He only then realized that the rug was softer than the last time and he looked down at the new grey fabric that covered the hall floor. Happiness surged through him like lightning at imagining that it was done for him, even if it wasn´t. It was nice pretending. Entering the room Sebastian had, the first thing that caught his attention was the large cross, where Sebastian opened up the buckles of the leather restraints.

"Come here boy. I will strap you to it while you receive the punishment. If this is a limit for you, shake your head two times now."

Kurt stayed motionless.

"Very well."

He then did as he was told, crawling over and waiting until stronger hands lifted him at the wrist until he was in a standing position. Facing the wall, his hands were bound to the cross. All the while he took in more of the rather small room. It had a large wooden cupboard to his left hand side and the walls were covered in a dark red with a bold stripe of grey near the ceiling.

"This bell will be your way of using your safeword." Sebastian pressed said object in the opened palm of Kurt´s right hand.

"Use it wisely. While receiving this punishment I want you to remember who is in charge in your life now."

Kurt nodded, letting his head rest on the wall. The first stroke met his skin right over his buttocks, and even though it was rather light, he jerked in surprise. The next three strokes were placed on his right ass cheek, growing in strength.

"Who do you think of now?"

_You Sir. _Four, five, Six.

"Who does your body belong to?"

_You sir. _Seven, eight, on his right cheek.

"Who do you need to be sane?"

_You Sir. Blaine, Sir. _The next four strokes hurt all the much more with the thought of his boyfriend.

"Who gives you the right to disobey me?"

_No one Sir. It´s unacceptable._ Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen. It hurt so much, but he still relaxed completely, his mind beginning to blur into a haze.

"Who can give you satisfaction?"

_You Sir. _His low gasps turned into screams at the last three hits. The bell in his hand dug deep into his palm as he clutched it in pain and buzzing pleasure. He felt warm hands burn on his red lower body, that rubbed some kind of liquid on him.

"You were good, boy. I hope you have learned your lesson."

Kurt nodded vigorously, blinking away the tears that had pricked at his eyes. Soon hands undid the leather around his wrists and he grunted when his skin stretched and pinched when he crawled again. He followed Sebastian down the hall again, this time ending up in a tiny room that held nothing more than a comfortable looking couch and a shelf with a stereo system, as well as a bin.

Sebastian sat down first, before beckoning him to come up at well. Kurt did and knelt there awkwardly and in pain, before the Dom suddenly undid the Ball-gag, roughly wiped away the saliva with a klinex and let his hand run through Kurt´s hair. In a way it felt very different from Blaine, tough it was the same gesture.

"In this room, you are allowed to speak to me and you can lie down and rest. It´s the only place we both have equal rights in this house, though I will expect you to be respectful."

Kurt blinked in confusion and still felt uncomfortable speaking without permission, so he lay down instead, bending his knees until he fitted on the sofa without touching Sebastian. He could practically feel Sebastian's impatience, in the brush of his fingertips over his scalp, but he still felt was in a blurry state of mind and words were harder to form as was an opinion. It took an unknown amount of minutes to understand that he could say whatever he wanted.

"Can I speak my mind?" He asked though.

"I said you could."

Kurt took a deep breath, before sitting up and swatting away Sebastian´s hand. He somehow had to do this right, no matter how hard it would be.

"If we continue this, I want to have a contract that ensures my safety with you."

Hesitantly he looked into Sebastian's eyes. In this moment he realized he knew nothing about this man and he wasn´t sure if he wanted to keep it that way. He was his Sir, someone he had to trust in order for this to work. On the other hand it would make this thing into more than sexual satisfaction and such a bond he only wanted to have with Blaine.

"Okay. Tomorrow you will get here at 4 pm instead of Reeds and we will set one up." Sebastian finally said.

"I will. But there is one more thing I want to ask of you."

"And what would that be?"

Even though he tried to hide it, Kurt could hear his growing annoyance.

"I can´t follow orders that intrude my vanilla relationship."

"You can´t mean that."

"I do. I finally learned to cope with the fact that I am cheating on the love of my life with you. The only thing preventing me from going insane is forgetting about the other men when I am with one. For your sake I only think of you when I am your sub, so let me be Blaine´s when I am with him."Kurt said determined.

Suddenly Sebastian got upp and paced the floor. Kurt saw him eying the door, as if wanting to be outside this room, where he could have all the power. And Kurt would let him. If it wasn´t for this room, he would have withered with the wish to ask Sebastian for this. As it was now, he hoped for the best.

"What if I say no?" The dom asked, stopping his pacing and ending up in front of Kurt.

"Then I will have to disobey your orders and face punishment every time. We both know it will ruin this completely."

Sebastian looked like he wanted to throw the stereo system at him for a short moment. This was the first time it seemed, that he could catch a glimpse of the man behind his dominant mask.

"Fine. This will be in the contract as well."

Then he sat down on the couch again and after a sequence of awkward silence, his hand found Kurt´s hair again.

"How was your vanilla weekend. Has he added some sprinkles on top of the vanilla or are you still fighting?"

When Sebastian asked, he appeared to be curious on one hand, while uncomfortable on the other. Feelings and relationships probably was something that the Dom hadn´t encountered to often in his life, the way he treated it.

Kurt smiled, closing his eyes.

"It was the perfect, most vanilla, sprinkles, rainbow weekend of my life."

He didn't know why, but as if he had burned Sebastian, the hand left his scalp and wouldn´t return for the rest of the evening.

* * *

**There you have it :D**

**The childhood stories are actually mine. My sister was the one who thought she could jump up a brickwall by driving against it and I was the earthworm fan with the endless love that suffocated them. :D haha.**

**1. Any funny childhood stories anyone like to share?**

**2. has anyone switched teams meanwhile, to Kurtbastian or Klaine? **

**3. Any predictions?**

**4. Someone there who can explain the mistery of Tumblr to me. I don´t get it. The reblogging thing and so on o.o**

**Lots of love and thanks for the ones that review and follow. You are the best. Don´t argue with me :D**


End file.
